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“Gaslighting” cost me my family

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Zoe1

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yes don't underestimate your importance to the children
however your health is
 
B

BeKind2MyMind

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Thank you for everyone’s support.
I have had a phone-appointment with my doctor today and had a long talk about everything. I’ve been prescribed some medication to help me sleep and reduce anxiety. They also referred me to a mental well-being group and Samaritans.
I’m at an all time low right now. I’m suffering so much. The worst of it is happening now, but should get better. I feel I’m in for a very rough ride battling my mind and emotions, but I really appreciate the support and advice this forum has given me. Thank you ❤️
 
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Zoe1

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well done BeKind

you stand a really good chance of recovery
now that you have reached out for help


💜
 
FragmentsOfPain

FragmentsOfPain

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Sorry for all the confusion, but gaslighting is based on a MOVIE made in the 1940's called "the gaslight"...i've never known anyone to use such elaborate ploys as in the movie, but in relationships it involves convincing someone they are crazy in order to get what they want.

It honestly disturbs me a lot that people are using a work of fiction...that they are probably not familiar with...to point blame. My friends a few years back shared an apartment with someone, and they accused them lf gaslighting him, and the story just didn't make any sense...how my friends were gaslighting this person.

I'm sorry you are going through this, i hope you get better.
 
RapblasterMaster

RapblasterMaster

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Gaslighting is a dangerous test of someones mental endurance. The victims mental health can decline over the duration and they end up broken. I thinks its cruelty is underestimated
 
jajingna

jajingna

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gaslighting is based on a MOVIE made in the 1940's
Looks like a decent old movie too:

 
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BeKind2MyMind

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This is why I’m not 100% sure I am guilty of all the aspects of gaslighting. I’ve certainly not tried to intentionally make my wife think she is crazy, or tried to reduce her mental health. I accept that my actions have made her feel bad, but I had no idea it was anything this terrible. Is this what she thinks of me? I love her so much. I’m desperate to have her back
 
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Zoe1

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some speak of ' detachment '
which is not a lack of care or passion
but rather the recognition that we are not ' enmeshed '
its not like you move your arm and it moves her arm ...
 
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BeKind2MyMind

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My wife and I are on very good terms right now. We are separated, but we are in regular contact due to the 3 kids. It helps a lot that things aren’t hostile or awkward between us. We are getting along well, it’s just that she doesn’t want to get back together. I’m still clinging onto the hope that it could happen. Especially if I can show her how much I have learnt about myself and the problems I caused, and that I’ve changed. I still love her so much, and it’s agony not being with her. It’s torture
 
FragmentsOfPain

FragmentsOfPain

Former member
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Somewhere in the US of A
My wife and I are on very good terms right now. We are separated, but we are in regular contact due to the 3 kids. It helps a lot that things aren’t hostile or awkward between us. We are getting along well, it’s just that she doesn’t want to get back together. I’m still clinging onto the hope that it could happen. Especially if I can show her how much I have learnt about myself and the problems I caused, and that I’ve changed. I still love her so much, and it’s agony not being with her. It’s torture

every relationship is a two-way street, just do what ever makes you feel better in the long run.
 
GretaVon

GretaVon

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Europe
My wife and I are on very good terms right now. We are separated, but we are in regular contact due to the 3 kids. It helps a lot that things aren’t hostile or awkward between us. We are getting along well, it’s just that she doesn’t want to get back together. I’m still clinging onto the hope that it could happen. Especially if I can show her how much I have learnt about myself and the problems I caused, and that I’ve changed. I still love her so much, and it’s agony not being with her. It’s torture

Hello.

I'm a bit late to the table here. I wonder if you will ever see my post.

You seem to be genuinely affected by your unfortunate situation, and more to the point, genuinely self-reflecting. That gives hope that you are a healthy individual, capable of not only the will to change but actual change.

Given that I know only a little about what happened between you and your wife, and assuming that you want to improve any behavior that has been a problem, most people would think it desirable that you get the chance to show self-improvement.

It would be interesting to know more details about your alleged behavior, actual words used, something about the tone of conversations, any outbursts of anger, stonewalling etc.

I'm sure we would also be interested in knowing how the situation has developed in the last two months.
 
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