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    Thread: Library of motivations

    1. #1101
      Founding Member
      Join Date
      Dec 2007
      East Lancs
      My Mood

      Default remorse?

      Today my blood sugars are still too high
      But I can function without its blight
      I need though to reduce it further
      To help my fight against depression from putting me under

      Itís a daily fight, and fight it is
      For I need not to succumb to silly needs
      The effect on me when both coincide
      Is a place from which I have to hide

      This is not an Ďoh poor meí
      It is a fact on what will be
      I have to take ownership of the way I am
      And not rely on medication and just carry on

      This is the same with the depression I have
      I have to learn the triggers that aids itís Ďcoming oní
      The chemical machine that is me
      I have to regulate it and not just let be

      I am berating myself, and rightly so
      There is no one else to blame the problem is mine to own
      I have the help there to help and guide me through
      I have to take on board what they suggest me to do

      This morning the sky is grey
      The wind is light but it is a brand new day
      Another start in this journey Iím on?
      No! the truth is that I am carrying on

      Mistakes Iíll make, I know this will be true
      But to acknowledge then learn is the thing to do
      Iím not going to wallow in my own cesspit of doubt
      For when I write it helps it all to come out.

    2. #1102
      Founding Member
      Join Date
      Dec 2007
      East Lancs
      My Mood

      Default a cloudy day

      The forecast says bright blue skies
      As I look out grey skies abound
      A brightness is there fighting to come through
      Like depression somewhere there is a light for you

      Sometimes itís hard to realise this
      Especially when that Ďthingí really hits
      But historically I know for when I read back
      I have (eventually) fended off each attack

      Possibly I have a heightened sense
      That makes depression seem so intense
      Maybe if I could shrug my shoulders more
      It wouldnít be able to affect me right through to my core

      This, to me, just shows how different we all are
      Especially my inability to shrug off when depression starts
      But knowing this, and reading back my odes
      Proves to me I am on the right road

      So whilst I still am trying to find work for me
      I shall not worry about lifeís difficulties
      I have sufficient cash to tied me over
      Until a job I can get which wonít roll me over

      I have heard that the flies are out over the canal
      Fish are jumping and swallows feeding
      Maybe a little excursion will be nice to take
      And just relax and watch the boats wake.
      Likes blacksmoke liked this post.

    3. #1103
      Founding Member
      Join Date
      Dec 2007
      East Lancs
      My Mood

      Default mixed

      I seem to be analysing my emotions more and more
      And wonder what brings to the fore
      Why do they seem to change so seamlessly
      And leave me bewildered with its ease

      Right now I have an inner need
      To throw remarks needlessly
      Create an argument where itís not required
      Why do I punish myself and others needlessly

      So I sit here all alone
      Any remarks then made will be my own
      No one else need be involved
      Maybe this is the way I can atone

      It will do me no good I am sure of that
      Being alone is not where I need to be at
      But then again I know I will come of worse
      As others disperse leaving a little hurt

      It doesnít make sense, and I ask myself why
      The throwaway remarks I make I later could cry
      Maybe a Ďzombieí pill is what I need
      I then will not cause anyone else to be ill

      Am I Ďdown in the dumpsí
      Or accepting a problem is making me ill
      By acknowledging a problem I have work to do
      I wonder where this will lead me to

      Itís all part of lifeís journey I was once told
      It seems though itís a journey I am making alone
      Whilst others seem to accept support and move on
      I appear to remain static, I wonder where I went wrong

    4. #1104
      Founding Member
      Join Date
      Dec 2007
      East Lancs
      My Mood

      Default ????

      Iím sitting here wondering what to do
      If nothing else to stop feeling blue
      Note the colour and not depression
      Am I moving on or am I hesitant

      My brain appears to have gone to sleep
      My body doesnít seem to want to earn its keep
      Looking around people appear to have purpose in their lives
      Iím living day to day thinking, is this life

      I have many things going right for me
      For I am surrounded with love as far as the eye can see
      Right now I want to paint a picture, and not with words
      This may show another road into my soul

      A blank piece of paper in which to write
      Does not give me any fright
      Change the word write to paint
      And I am scared for any mistakes I make

      Some group tuition would do me good
      Maybe once again itís time to look
      But I also have to find some work
      Part time preferably, again I must look

      With my brain feeling flat
      I must prioritise where Iím at
      Only then maybe a way will become clear
      Maybe a nap will help me here

      Diabetes, Depression, Anxiety too
      Not forgetting others too numerous to go through
      Still Iím fit enough to work
      So back into the world is what I must do

      Sympathy is not something I am looking for
      Iím laying out my cards to see clearly once more
      For if I donít accept the place where Iím at
      Iíll never be able to move on, clearly thatís that!

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