Is this OCD?

[dice3510]

I have a habit of obsessively regretting past mistakes, and this is probably partially caused by OCD. Consider the following example. It happened to me several times, I said I would begin studying at, say, 7 pm. But I start studying at 7:10 pm. I start getting frustrated and regretting this 'mistake' for the following 20 minutes. Then I realize how utterly irrational this is; I just wasted 20 minutes in pointless regret instead of just beginning my study. Then I start regretting I could have possibly been so irrational and spend the next 15 minutes regretting.

It happened several times, I think, that I wasted 45 minutes to an hour before I finally began to study.

First, do you think this is OCD? I think it almost certainly is.

Now, the same thing has been happening, but for much more serious 'mistakes' I've made. I won't go into detail, but I did some things that resulted in some negative consequences for my life. While I've made some improvements over the last year, one of the primary reasons why I didn't work harder was that every time I want to take a systematic approach towards improvement, I get flooded with thoughts of regret of how I even got into that situation in the first place.

Now, I regret the fact I've 'wasted' this whole year on such irrational worries.

Do you think this is also OCD?

[Mayfair]

I have a habit of obsessively regretting past mistakes, and this is probably partially caused by OCD. Consider the following example. It happened to me several times, I said I would begin studying at, say, 7 pm. But I start studying at 7:10 pm. I start getting frustrated and regretting this 'mistake' for the following 20 minutes. Then I realize how utterly irrational this is; I just wasted 20 minutes in pointless regret instead of just beginning my study. Then I start regretting I could have possibly been so irrational and spend the next 15 minutes regretting.

It happened several times, I think, that I wasted 45 minutes to an hour before I finally began to study.

First, do you think this is OCD? I think it almost certainly is.

Now, the same thing has been happening, but for much more serious 'mistakes' I've made. I won't go into detail, but I did some things that resulted in some negative consequences for my life. While I've made some improvements over the last year, one of the primary reasons why I didn't work harder was that every time I want to take a systematic approach towards improvement, I get flooded with thoughts of regret of how I even got into that situation in the first place.

Now, I regret the fact I've 'wasted' this whole year on such irrational worries.

Do you think this is also OCD?

Well, it sounds familiar.

I think it's certainly a part of aspects that relate to many issues that include OCD.

I was reading my new book earlier and funnily enough, this was written by (not someone mentally ill) but a logical genius, and she said "I have to go to the gym for 5 mins, that is all. If I leave AFTER that 5 mins, I won't feel guilty". She then goes to gym, and then has choice leave at 5 mins and not feel guilty, or stay slightly/ or much longer and gains the benefit of the gym.

I had a second chance at studying a few years ago, and what you wrote there, is exactly what I did, and I ended up quitting. I just couldn't cope with the guilt of doing something I enjoyed, because I felt I should have been studying.

What I read earlier, what you have said, and my little story are all connected in some way. It's obvious.

[dice3510]

I had a second chance at studying a few years ago, and what you wrote there, is exactly what I did, and I ended up quitting. I just couldn't cope with the guilt of doing something I enjoyed, because I felt I should have been studying.

I'm not sure I entirely understand what you mean by this. Care to elaborate?

Are you saying you had the same issues I do?

[MissKitty]

Hi Dice,
The first and second examples you give are classic vicious circles caused by procrastination (procrastination followed by regret causing further procrastination) complicated by your obsession with finding fault with yourself and beating yourself up for what you have done wrong.
As per your last thread, this procrastination could also be said to be a type of paralysis.

Is that OCD? I don't know - but it certainly points to fear of failure, fear of not being up to the task and the result of the procrastination is that it reinforces your feelings of low self-worth.
I don't know much about OCD, but wonder if these beliefs cause people with OCD to behave in the way that they do?

Dice, a journal was suggested to you in the last thread as a way of identifying common themes in your behaviour. I'm not sure how you felt about that?
Personally, I find it enlightening to write down each of the behaviours I display which are troublesome and to add to them over a period of time. Patterns emerge. By looking at those patterns it can help you identify what is happening, and by putting them online in a journal perhaps you would benefit from the opinions of others too?
Just a thought.
x

[evie_eve]

I have a habit of obsessively regretting past mistakes, and this is probably partially caused by OCD. Consider the following example. It happened to me several times, I said I would begin studying at, say, 7 pm. But I start studying at 7:10 pm. I start getting frustrated and regretting this 'mistake' for the following 20 minutes. Then I realize how utterly irrational this is; I just wasted 20 minutes in pointless regret instead of just beginning my study. Then I start regretting I could have possibly been so irrational and spend the next 15 minutes regretting.

It happened several times, I think, that I wasted 45 minutes to an hour before I finally began to study.

First, do you think this is OCD? I think it almost certainly is.

Now, the same thing has been happening, but for much more serious 'mistakes' I've made. I won't go into detail, but I did some things that resulted in some negative consequences for my life. While I've made some improvements over the last year, one of the primary reasons why I didn't work harder was that every time I want to take a systematic approach towards improvement, I get flooded with thoughts of regret of how I even got into that situation in the first place.

Now, I regret the fact I've 'wasted' this whole year on such irrational worries.

Do you think this is also OCD?

For the first time in a long time I feel normal after reading this post! I have OCD in it's varying forms for my whole life and regret has played a big part. I just thought I had an issue with 'regret' but it's only now I am linking the two and googled it and found forums such as these! I always analyse over and over what I have or haven't done, where I caused something to go wrong, and its like a loop in my head repeating. I can't CBT my way out of it like others can. I just have to let it run its course, although dance and meditation and acupuncture (for anxiety) are my 3 big saviours. Now this post is my fourth! Thank u for making me realise that I'm not the only one with an unhealthy obsession over regret. It comes down to feeling you don't deserve happiness...u 'f*** it up somehow' and keep making mistakes that u don't learn from. I know all this about unworthiness but it's like a switch u can't turn off, it controls you. However I find activity is the best cure. Living I'm the present takes effort but I still acknowledge my obsessions about the past, what I did or didn't do in relationships etc. it's part of who I am...my experience in this lifetime. But I read a great quote once 'you can never regret any decision because it's the only decision u could have made given the Information and mindset you had at the time'. So true, and nice to know people without OCD also border on the feelings and thought patterns we OCD sufferers experience. Even writing on this blog is like a compulsion ritual for me but yeah I'm regretting time spent on here instead of living my life, or staying up too late, or eating that thing, or saying this or that. It's endless and excruciating...and then it robs me of enjoying the present moment, which then causes further regret! Vicious cycle...but seriously there are strategies to 'turn down the volume...not cure it completely because I don't think it can be...it might have to do with having a pronounced reptilian complex in the brain, which is associated with ritualised and obsessive behaviours. I also spend more time regretting each decision than I do actually making decisions! Even if I stayed up 4 mins later than I would have liked or planned, I blame myself the next day for being tired on my silly decision to not go to bed 4 mins earlier! It's a no win situation...