Please don't apologise for complaining. This forum is the ideal place to vent our feelings and get things off our chest. I have never had any issues with eating disorders myself, but I would strongly suggest to you that limiting yourself to 150 calories per day will seriously harm your body certainly in the short term and possibly in the long term too. Have you spoken to your GP about your eating disorder? If you haven't I would say that's a good place to start. They should be able to refer you to a dietician or an eating disorder therapist who will be able to help you work through your issues and make a plan for getting back on a healthy eating track. I am not trying to suggest that this will be easy, but you have made the first step by writing it down here so well done for that.
Take Care Now,