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    Thread: How do I make my life valuable?

    1. #1
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      Default How do I make my life valuable?

      I'm in my early 50s. I'm not suicidal. I actually fear death more than almost anything else in this world, however, I feel like my life isn't valuable to anyone or anything, other than myself. I feel like all I am doing is taking up space on this planet and using up limited resources. In short, I feel guilty just for living.


      My question is, how do I change this? What can I do to make myself valuable? Is it even possible anymore? I have no children. No mate. Not many friends. I keep mostly to myself and to be honest, I don't like being around others much anyway. Most of the other people I'm around are just as ugly as I am, so socializing is not much fun. Life is unpleasant and I mostly lay in bed all day or else vegetate in front of the computer. I live with my parents so I can do that for now but my parents are elderly and it worries me what will happen when they are gone.

      I feel stuck and I can't even muster the will to lift a finger to do anything about all this. I just want to sit here and watch my life cave in. It's all I want to do anymore. It sort of feels like the right thing to do--like this is what I deserve, to sit here and passively watch as my world gradually falls apart around me.
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      Forum Guide burt tomato's Avatar
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      What do you want to do?

      Do you have any plans or goals?

      BTW
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      No plans. No goals. I don't have any passion about life. I was off meds last year and was very passionate about things. But then I was hospitalized in November and am back on Abilify and I just feel apathetic and don't care about anything again.
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      Quote Originally Posted by Gary Childress View Post
      No plans. No goals. I don't have any passion about life. I was off meds last year and was very passionate about things. But then I was hospitalized in November and am back on Abilify and I just feel apathetic and don't care about anything again.
      Reality can be hard though. You might not have plans, but life can be cruel, and often we have to do things we do not want to do just to survive.
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      Unfortunately being doped up on these meds seems almost like asking someone under general anesthesia to roll over so the surgeon can get to a difficult to reach spot. They don't like me when I'm off meds and they expect me to function on meds. Wish I could please everyone.
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      I am not being smart ass,when I say you have to take responsibility to be responsible
      for your life. I know its hard,was in bad place myself,but had to admit truth of above,
      no one else could do it for me , . . .or you.
      Respectfully,
      jimindigo
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      The "cure" for depression always seems to be near drowning. Although I suppose I could "take responsibility" and run out to meet up with all the wonderful opportunities that aren't there for me. I mean, with my "resume" I can still apply to flip burgers (once I overcome the chronic foot pain that recently lost me my job as an usher) but it would mostly just be for "fun" anyway since it won't pay much more than my disability and if I get steady work my disability goes bye, bye. In the evenings I'll go clubbing and use, "Hi, I'm diagnosed with a mental illness" as my pickup line.

      Yay, life in the fast lane!
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      I apologize for being pointed so far. I know everyone here means well. I guess I really am in a bad place right now.
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    9. #9
      Senior Member Jbb79's Avatar
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      Me too, Life is Really hard some-times x x

      I Don't have any advice, as I'm in the same position, My-self x x

      At least, Stick around here, May-be Talking to some-one Will eventually help
      I Want to Know you -- Tell me, The Bad stuff -- Let's talk About It --

      But remember, To Share the good things, Little Love--letters, Moments of -- Peace <3 <3<3
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    10. #10
      Senior Member Jbb79's Avatar
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      For me, I've Tried all kinds of things, It feels like, No matter what I Do, A few Days later, It's like Nothing x xx

      I Hope to get a job, a Good one And, Pass my Time tending, To that x x
      I Want to Know you -- Tell me, The Bad stuff -- Let's talk About It --

      But remember, To Share the good things, Little Love--letters, Moments of -- Peace <3 <3<3
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