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    Thread: Brother made mum with cancer feel suicidal

    1. #1
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      Default Brother made mum with cancer feel suicidal

      Itís dominating my mind. Has done for over a year. Mum had cancer twice and I cared for her. Brother didnít know I was caring as despite being half a mile away he wasnít interested in seeing her. When he found out I was living with her and nursing her he told me ďnot to botherĒ. She died saying sheíd never felt suicidal before but he had destroyed her.

      Mum was a good mum. She was tough and gentle at the same time but he had a chip on his shoulder about her getting on with my other brother better. He was much nicer to her and always treated her with respect, and it made sense to me why they had a better relationship.

      After she died, the brother that is now telling everyone he hated her, tricked me into giving him the keys to her bungalow. Him and his wife raided it. Took anything of value, ornaments, TVs, stereos, everything.

      I told my nice brother what he had done and it all kicked off. Iím now told that mum was horrible about me behind my back, which just shows when he last spoke to her because we were best friends for at least five years before she died and I know for a fact she absolutely adored me and felt I had saved her life. Apparently Iím a ďwickedĒ girl.

      Iíve been told Iíve split the family up and I am disgusting for telling my brother what he did. He says heíll never speak to me again. Itís fine because I deeply hate him for how heís treated her and me. I felt so protective over her.

      Heís wealthy, has a swimming pool. Iím not. My mental Illness has held me back career wise, not something Iím proud of. But I have always worked. Mum wanted to leave what little she had to me. But he contested the video will she left and tried to get her money, it didnt hold up and I inherited a little bit.

      Hes now going around my village saying terrible things about me and mum. And heís a very powerful character. I am shy and nervous and have never stood up to him before.

      Iím just so upset. I have bipolar and now ptsd from intensively caring for her on my own for months. I can hear her cryís and wails at night when I close my eyes.

      Randomly a medium came to me this week and said a women (she described my mumís description to a t) had come to her to tell me thank you for the beautiful things I did for her before her death. And that I was the biggest blessing of her entire life. She said that i had a brother who was domineering and unpleasant and not to listen to him as he doesnít know what I know. I donít know what to think of this but she certainly said some relevant things.

      Iím ill, Iím alone, i have no one. And heís got into my head. I just want to move on from the trauma but itís so hard when people tell me what heís saying about me.

      Sorry for the long rant. Iím not well at the moment and my infusible thoughts are taking hold. I guess I just needed to voice how I feel. Because in real life I just stay quiet so as not to bring more trouble to my door.

      So upset. X
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    2. #2
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      *intrusive thoughts that was meant to say

    3. #3
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      Hello Miss Piggy. I'm so sorry to read about the awful things that have happened.
      I am sure that your mother cared very much for you and appreciated your love and you looking after her.
      Your brother is being very unkind and do your best to put aside his words and look after yourself and your own well being.
      You did a very precious thing in looking after your mother

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      Thank you for your words exyz. Xx
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      You are very welcome indeed, how are you today?

    6. #6
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      Not great to be honest. Had a bad night last night. Hysterically crying most the night. I look a right state today. My decent brother is on his way to see me. Havenít seen him for over a year. Hope he understands that Iím a bit fragile at the moment, he can be a bit firey too.

      Started back on meds four days ago. Anxiety is through the roof.

      Thanks for asking how I am. I really do appreciate the kindness xx
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      I've had really bad anxiety, people don't understand how awful it is, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope the meds start to help a bit.
      Have you spoken to Macmillan Cancer support at all Miss P, they are lovely for supporting those who have cared for people with cancer. They were great with me even when I blubbed down the phone to them about a family member. I hope that this link works.
      Macmillan Cancer Support - Macmillan Cancer Support
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      Also, I think the strain of all this takes it's toll too. I hope that goodie brother is supportive.
      You are the one who has carried all the mental and physical load of this.
      Just come along here and type it all out anonymously, it really helps at times when there is no one around to listen.

    9. #9
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      Thank you. I hadnít thought of speaking to Macmillan. Mum died so quickly in the end they hadnít been able to get to see us before she passed. The district nurse was decent though. She came out every day to see me because she was worried about how I was coping with no sleep and no support. I certainly will try Macmillan.

      Yes it does help to vent. Keep worrying that somehow they are gonna see my posts and get more angry. But I think thatís anxiety talking.

      Brother should be here by now. Hope he arrives soon because Iím getting worried x
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    10. #10
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      Hi Miss Piggy,
      I'm so sorry to hear of your story, do you have a CPN or any other support?
      Be careful with mediums, some just prey on the sick.
      Here to listen anytime.
      Take care
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