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    Thread: Lost

    1. #1
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      Exclamation Lost

      Hi, I find myself in London, been here 23 years yet I do not have a single friend. When my life went wrong, my life went wrong, I lost those 'friends'. Now I am being forced out of my family due to my mental health. Yes, I have done things wrong and I have done my time. But throwing away the protective link for me is creating more harm and risk.

      Now, I am alone and without a friend. I am lost in this world of despair and pain. Shuddering with flashbacks from the rapes as a child. I suddenly duck because I had a flashback that I was being beaten. I struggle with the emotions of a 38-year-old survivor. I am Irish.

      On the 8th of October, when I was told I had to divorce I tried to take my own life, sadly it did not work. I took a very large quantity of pills. I normally do not touch alcohol as I can't stand the memories it brings up for me. But I took a lot of alcohol.

      Dam someone found me and got an ambulance, I begged them to leave me, leave me where I was. I no longer want to battle the feelings of being a survivor, a survivor of incest abuse, sexual abuse in the care system in Ireland. I am lost in a world of pain and confusion. I struggle with being the feelings of hopelessness.
      Last edited by TiredTina; 06-12-18 at 09:05. Reason: Edited as per forum guidelines
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    2. #2
      Moderator Mayflower7's Avatar
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      Jan 2013
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      England
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      Hi,
      Welcome to the forum
      I'm so sorry for all you've gone thru, have you had any specialist therapy?
      Here to listen anytime.
      We challenge the silence to support sexually abused men | SurvivorsUK
      Sexual Abuse & Assault of Boys & Men | Confidential Support for Men
      Take care
      Last edited by Mayflower7; 06-12-18 at 18:30. Reason: Added link

    3. #3
      Member
      Join Date
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      Gipsy Hill, South East London.
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      I am so lonely that I want to die. I hate myself for what I have done and gone through. I feel I will die alone 😓
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