Results 1 to 4 of 4

    Thread: Does this sound like social anxiety

    1. #1
      Member
      Join Date
      Nov 2018
      Posts
      2

      Default Does this sound like social anxiety

      Hi. My 19 yr old son has always been very shy and not good at doing things like making phone calls, making small talk etc but he is really struggling just now and Iím wondering if itís social anxiety disorder.
      He has recently started university and is living at home. He hasnít met anyone and usually becomes defensive when asked about this. He became upset this week and I think may be triggered by the thought of having to do a talk at uni. After speaking he described that he felt he didnít have a personality and was uninteresting. He said that he doesnít feel he has any thoughts or opinions. Iím not convinced that heís depressed but he seems to have become very stuck on not having any thoughts other than basic ones. Iíve tried to suggest social anxiety but he says he doesnít think so because he doesnít have many deep thoughts when on his own. Iím wondering if heís getting stuck on not being interesting and when he tries to think of what he will say in situations he canít come up with anything.
      Heís not motivated to do anything much but again itís hard to know if he depressed or if the problem is that he canít try anything new because of the anxiety. He says he doesnít feel particularly sad but isnít concentrating and struggling to study. I think the anxiety of uni and everyone else seeming to be sociable may be getting him down.
      Sorry for the long post, just wondering if anyone else has felt like this.

    2. #2
      Active Member
      Join Date
      Jul 2018
      Location
      Nottingham
      Posts
      38
      My Mood
      Bored

      Default

      Hi,
      Going to Uni is a big thing to begin with and then living outside of halls and off campus can be quite daunting when you go into Uni as everyone seems to know each other as they all live together or near each other, and they all go out with each other to parties and such.
      Has he thought about joining a club he likes so he can socialise in a smaller group?

    3. #3
      Member
      Join Date
      Nov 2018
      Posts
      2

      Default

      Thanks for your reply. I’ve suggested clubs etc but I think even that’s too daunting at the minute the way he’s feeling. I’m trying to get him to agree to go for cbt to see if it will change some of his negative thinking and give him a bit more confidence.

    4. #4
      Member
      Join Date
      Nov 2018
      Posts
      5

      Default

      I have Social Anxiety Disorder, and looking back I’ve had it since childhood.
      My biggest struggle was that for all of those years (I’m 63 now) it was society, media, friends and family telling me that it wasn’t normal to avoid crowds and small talk. Well, when I finally accepted the fact that this was MY normal, life got much easier.

      I’m not comfortable when asked to a dinner party where there will be multiple strangers. Because, most strangers at dinner parties only feel comfortable with small talk. I’m not good at it and can’t stand “fluff” conversations.

      There is nothing you can do to change it. You can suggest every available social gathering until you’re blue in the face. Let him figure it out for himself. Whatever he is feeling is NORMAL for him...not you.

      He will thrive when he realizes that he doesn’t “HAVE” to conform to ANYONES version of “normal” but his own.

      This book gave me permission to accept myself ...as is. It’s on Amazon.
      “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a world that can’t stop talking.”

      It might help both of you to understand each other.

    Similar Threads

    1. Actual Social Anxiety or Over-reacting Social Disaster?
      By aesthere in forum Social Anxiety Forum
      Replies: 2
      Last Post: 13-06-17, 11:59
    2. Does this sound like social anxiety?
      By Blondie13 in forum Social Anxiety Forum
      Replies: 2
      Last Post: 24-09-16, 22:15
    3. Replies: 1
      Last Post: 17-03-15, 07:41

    Tags for this Thread

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •