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    Thread: I don't want to be here anymore

    1. #11
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      Dec 2018
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      I too have felt the same way for many years constantly feeling as if I have no space in this world that I mean absolutely nothing to nobody that my life has absolutely no meaning I am also on medication I am not able to work because my depression and anxiety keep me from doing so. But one thing that I have learned is that if there is one person in this world that needs me it's me! You see the simple explanation to that is that I have to be stronger then those depressed feelings that I get and the anxiety that I suffer I have to prove to myself that I'm better than that how can we ever feel that we have a place in this world or that we deserve friends if we don't allow ourselves to be our own friend that's where it starts. When I finally realize that things started to change for me and what I did was I started to go out and do things for myself I would go to the store and buy myself a new pair of jeans or new sweatshirt with my favorite football teams logo on it even if I am sitting at home watching the football games at least I am home watching the football game I cheer for my team I make myself some orderves and snacks and even if I'm by myself the first thing I had to prove was that I'm worthy to have friends by being a good friend to myself once that started everything else came natural. You see the long and short of it is if we sit around feeling sorry for ourselves no one is going to want to be around us because we're a bummer to be around you have to come up with at least one positive thought if you think that you deserve to have friends then first try being a friend to yourself do something special for yourself thoroughly clean your apartment or your house with your favorite kind of music blasting through your stereo and sing along with it make fun of yourself as you sing cuz God knows none of us probably have good voices LOL or go out and detail your car doing the same thing blast the stereo while you're doing it and when you're done with that take a ride to your favorite Deli by yourself your favorite sandwich and maybe some macaroni salad and potato salad and go home open up all the shades in your house and let the sun shine through your windows don't keep the shades John don't keep it dark darkness breeds depression light brings happiness. there's a passage in the Bible that says God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise and the weak to compound those things that are mighty well ladies and gentlemen we are the most foolish and weakest people on earth those of us that have mental issues but you know what we're chosen by God so when all else fails don't look down look up and remember who put you here for a reason I'm not saying that I don't still deal with my depression and anxiety I do each and every day but when I feel it getting strong and when I feel it starting to take over I fight back I force myself to go outside for a walk breathing some brisk cool air on a sunshiny day I make myself think positive thoughts you'll be surprised what that will do for you giving up is not an option it should never be an option because that would mean that we're quitters if we have survived through this and gotten to this point then we can get through believe me when I tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel and when you find it you will be so happy that you didn't quit. Only six months ago I tried to take my own life I took 300 clonidine 90 Ambien and 250 Xanax but wouldn't you know it a friend of mine decided to stop by that morning and was texting me from outside of my apartment and trying to call me when I didn't answer or respond he said that something inside of him told him to go inside that something was wrong so he listened to his gut and sure enough he found me I had already slipped into a coma he called nine-one-one and as they were putting me in the rig from what I was told I had stopped breathing they have to bring me back to life two times on the way to the hospital and then again when I was in the hospital to Dr had to intubate me and I was in a coma for six days when I woke up believe me when I tell you I was mad as hell but as time went on I realized how precious my life is. Everyday is a gift every hour is a gift every minute is a gift the world is not doing this to you we do it to ourselves it is up to us to fight through it we are stronger than depression and anxiety and believe me if you try it just once and succeed and break through one day you will feel exactly what I'm talking about now I'm not saying that the depression and anxiety will simply disappear and go away because it will not no matter what medications were on it will always be there but the first time you decide to push forward and fight it and when you will feel the same joy that I feel now and it will encourage you to continue to fight and push through every time the depression and or the anxiety comes over you God bless each and everyone

    2. #12
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      Dec 2018
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      Hi.
      I hope youíre still with us, reading this broke my heart. I know how you feel on some levels. I am 28, not close to my family and feel like I have no future. I canít see my future anymore.
      All my friends are buying new homes, getting married and planning for children. I canít afford a house on my own, I canít fall pregnant due to health problems, I donít have a partner to marry. Itís hard. I know, but try to not loose hope. I try not to every single day. Itís exhausting and a job on its own. But please tell yourself to keep going.

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