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    Thread: am i the only one who wants to die in battle?

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      Default am i the only one who wants to die in battle?

      I Used to be a good person before some things happned ( personal stuf) but since i made 15 i dont feel empahty anymore ( i feel it rarly almost to 0) the only thing i ever liked was playing videogames and training now training is the only thing i enjoy ( if i dont train till i m exhausted i get really depressed) . I know that war isnt like an action movie , war is strangers doing horific things to each other its horribile i know thats why i want to go, i saw "saving privater ryan " and i wish i was in the captain place. I watched videos of real people being killed and it didnt bother me . I dont want to kill inocent people ,i want to kill the bad guys . I just want to die like a hero ( prone in a greanede saving my unit for example) and kill the max number of people possibile . Dodging bullets in the midle of nowere is not nice i know but its the only thing that could make feel alive and maybe even happy . Civil life is just depresing , boring , whit noting that sufering for no reason so sorry but its not for me . I dont want to survive i want to live . I will join the French Foreign Legion . I think about this since i was 15, i will make 18 next week ( i m not a kid that wants to get action because is " cool" this is serios and i m gonna do it) i just want to know if there are people like me out there because i think i am the only guy feeling this way , Is there a defenition for people like me? like for depresed or narcisist people? I am a foreign sry for gramar errors

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      its common, I had a boyfriend who felt exactly the same.

      I had another boyfriend ironically who actually DID join the French Foreign Legion and dropped out within a week alongside the other 90%.

      it was during the Bosnia/Herzegovina wars and all those dead bodies littering the fields, puffing up and bloating, turned out to be no where near as glamorous as he'd imagined.
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      I use too.
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      I can understand your feelings. We want peace but find war fascinating. Men in this country have been emasculated and no longer have a sense of what it is to be a man. With all the health and safety rules I don't even see kids climbing trees anymore. When all the basics have been met what is there to fight for or get out of bed for. Have spoken to soldier and they all have problems adapting to civilian life when they leave. Pushing a trolley around Asda and not having to think about life and death leaves them empty and bored. I suppose you could always do the training and see if you're cut out for that life. Hope you never come face to face with ISIS (makes me s!!! my pants just thinking about it).
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      Quote Originally Posted by BorderlineDownunder View Post
      its common, I had a boyfriend who felt exactly the same.

      I had another boyfriend ironically who actually DID join the French Foreign Legion and dropped out within a week alongside the other 90%.

      it was during the Bosnia/Herzegovina wars and all those dead bodies littering the fields, puffing up and bloating, turned out to be no where near as glamorous as he'd imagined.

      Also further to this, to anyone interested: most of being in battle, is marching.

      You march here, you march there. The Actual Battle is only about 1% of it, most of the time you are marching. And doing drills and more drills. Then marching some more.
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      That is so true. Plus the blisters, tiredness and maybe PTSD. Most jobs that sound exciting are in fact only 1% action.
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      A quote from an American Civil War veteran:

      "Soldiering is 99% boredom and 1% sheer terror."
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      I will share a bit of my experience. Due to anger I developed toward family members and hatred toward the world, in my younger days, I wanted to take the anger out by killing people. Bad people. I felt that way since I was 13. I wanted to die in battle field.

      When I was 16. I joined the army reserve. When I was 18, I signed up for deployment, and I was injured before deployment and I didn't get to go overseas. I was even angrier. When I was 20, I was offered an opportunity to work with special operations. I jumped at the chance.

      I was finally deployed. I had the chance to kill. I hesitated. My friend got shot. I shot back and killed someone. I started realizing that I didn't want to kill, the moment I saw the bad guy going down.

      The reality is that you only realize that if you really wanted or not after you've done/are doing it. Luckily I was able to get out within the month, and went home. I regret it. I don't know how else to explain it, but smell burnt gun power often makes my stomach upset.
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      Quote Originally Posted by SJLPHII View Post
      I will share a bit of my experience. Due to anger I developed toward family members and hatred toward the world, in my younger days, I wanted to take the anger out by killing people. Bad people. I felt that way since I was 13. I wanted to die in battle field.

      When I was 16. I joined the army reserve. When I was 18, I signed up for deployment, and I was injured before deployment and I didn't get to go overseas. I was even angrier. When I was 20, I was offered an opportunity to work with special operations. I jumped at the chance.

      I was finally deployed. I had the chance to kill. I hesitated. My friend got shot. I shot back and killed someone. I started realizing that I didn't want to kill, the moment I saw the bad guy going down.

      The reality is that you only realize that if you really wanted or not after you've done/are doing it. Luckily I was able to get out within the month, and went home. I regret it. I don't know how else to explain it, but smell burnt gun power often makes my stomach upset.
      Thank you for sharing. WOW.

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      Quote Originally Posted by barmcake View Post
      I can understand your feelings. We want peace but find war fascinating. Men in this country have been emasculated and no longer have a sense of what it is to be a man. With all the health and safety rules I don't even see kids climbing trees anymore. When all the basics have been met what is there to fight for or get out of bed for. Have spoken to soldier and they all have problems adapting to civilian life when they leave. Pushing a trolley around Asda and not having to think about life and death leaves them empty and bored. I suppose you could always do the training and see if you're cut out for that life. Hope you never come face to face with ISIS (makes me s!!! my pants just thinking about it).
      If a woman wanted to die in battle she would be considered masculine or manly?? This want is only for men??

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