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    Thread: I need people to talk to

    1. #1

      Default I need people to talk to

      Hello, everyone. My name is Morrow (a screen name, obviously) and I stumbled upon this sub-forum when looking for someone to talk to.

      A few years ago I was diagnosed with depression and in the middle of last year I was put on medication. I've now been put onto a new batch, and while I've only been on it for about a week now, my body is still trying to adapt to it. I won't go into full details, but I assume some of you know exactly when I'm talking about (extreme hunger, fatigue, insomnia, etc.)

      But, that's not the reason I'm here. At least, I don't think it is.

      I'm going through a pretty tough time at the moment with life and work. My finances feel like a wreck and I have a massive chunk of debt from a previous business, but I'm at least paying it off, albeit slowly. There's also my credit card which I need to use at times, but still feels like a boulder around my neck.

      My family is going through their own problems, which I don't want to discuss here, but it's eating away at me.

      Work is basically hell right now. I do part of what I enjoy (writing), but the subject matter and my boss are pretty shitty. He is a massive problem in the company with regards to shouting and swearing at people, unrealistic deadlines, and generally being an asshole. Unfortunately it's not something that can be reported as it's just constantly ignored (he's not self reflective at all). The boss also downright refuses to hire more people after a few left and we're all doing the work of four to five individuals. I also can't just walk out because I need the money and there's very little in the job market at the moment. He is back from leave next week and the moment I think about him I get anxiety.

      Oh, and I also have anxiety. Even as I writing this I'm sitting at my desk at work I'm shaking and struggling to hold back the tears. It keeps me up at night.

      I don't feel like I can talk to anyone anymore about what's going on. I can see my friends get irritated with my messages, my family tries to outdo me in their woes, and my partner has their own problems and I don't want to add to them (not depression, though). I know that I can be a boulder around someone's neck with this, to use that image again.

      I was going to a psychologist for a while, but it became too expensive.

      I just need people to talk to, because I'm honestly feeling worthless and shitty and there's a lot riding on me right now.

    2. #2
      Senior Member naominash's Avatar
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      You can PM me if you want.
      Last edited by TiredTina; 12-01-17 at 13:45.
      Maybe we're not meant to be fixed. Our brokenness refracts the Light in more beautiful ways.

    3. #3
      Forum Safety Team Foxjo's Avatar
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      Hi and welcome to the forum
      Talking does help, have a look around the forum you will see you are not alone. Theres always someone around to listen.
      Hugs
      Fox
      What doesn't kill me makes me Stronger

    4. #4
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      Sorry you feel that way. Talk to me.

    5. #5
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      Hi Morrow welcome to the forum. I know this is long and I hope you take the time to read all of it.

      I have crippling social anxiety that's caused a lot of problems in my life. Let me share a few of my experiences. In elementary school I had no social anxiety until one day in sixth grade the girl I liked wanted to sit by me at lunch. I was so overwhelmed I didn't know what to do. I literally had a panic attack and ran off. The same thing happened again, first year of junior high, 7th grade. I then developed a fear of females in general because girls were always so rude to me when I was a kid, not blaming anybody here but its true. My SA rooted from the fear of girls, then eventually to everyone.

      I had lots of rejection from both girls and boys as a kid and an adult but that didn't start affecting me until high school. I realized my whole life I'd been an outcast and nothing I could ever do would get people to like me. After high school I bounced lots of jobs because of a bad relationship with coworkers and the boss, because of my social anxiety, because I believed I was inadequate. I eventually realized I needed to work from home, and I do and have been for years. This has worsened my social anxiety in ways but I just can't work in the real world at this point.

      I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Hang in there it'll get better. I never thought it would and I still am far from perfect but I'm doing better then when I was working those jobs. Sometimes you have to bounce around to find what you can truly tolerate. Nobody should have to work a job they can't stand. Good luck

    6. #6

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      Life is full of challenges, and unfortunately we don't always know how to handle them.
      I've been on meds for 8 years now and will be for the rest of my life because of depression and social anxiety. They work, don't get me wrong I have my bad days, give the meds a chance, I know the side effects can be rough whilst you get used to them but they do help.
      Talking always helps and I know talking to your loved ones when they are going through stuff makes you feel bad and guilty, I feel the same way, but I also found that bottling it up only leads to a massive explosions.
      Try to vent on here, we're all here knowing exactly how you feel. No one judges or thinks negatively on here.
      Things will get better. There is a light at the end of your tunnel. X

    7. #7
      Forum Guide Fairy Lucretia's Avatar
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      to the forum
      lots of love
      fairy Lu x
      its nice to be important ,but its more important to be nice
      xxxx you count ,you matter ,you are important (I promise)

      Lucretia the fairy ,Magical fairy wonderland ,fairy hill kingdom ,po box whimsical folly land

    8. #8
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      Hey, feel free to talk to me or any of us here, we would love to just listen to what you have to say and hopefully at least provide you with some support.

      It's extremely hard to write well when going through rough times like this, so it is good to come out with your story and share it with everyone here!

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