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    Thread: I want to take my life back because I'm at my lowest

    1. #1

      Default I want to take my life back because I'm at my lowest

      So my life is at my lowest point right now and I don't know what to do and I need guidance or practically any help to set me in the right direction because I'm the lowest a human being can be right now.

      I'm 23 and 5 years ago i was kicked out of college for not attending behind my moms back and it all went downhill from there. I was kicked out of my house and told I had to make it on my own now. I couldn't find a job so I went on welfare and moved in a tiny apartment in a flat. For the last 5 years all I've been doing is eating and drinking.

      I went from being kinda skinny to being overweight/obese to the point where I get worn out from walking down the corridor and I struggle to fit through my apartment door. I'm too big for all the clothes I brought with me now so I spend all day lounging around in my underwear doing nothing but being a slob. I have to get friends and family members to get the gas and electric for me because I'm too paranoid to go outside now. I never shave too so I literally look like an overweight ape. I'm too paranoid to go and get help and I'm too lazy to make sudden changes in my life. I'm too scared to let my parents see me like this. I'm only going to get bigger until eventually I die. I hardly ever shower and this apartment smells like shit. I've contemplated suicide in the past but never worked up the courage.

      I want to make a change but I don't know where to start, or how to work up courage. Please, someone, give me help and the will to make a change. I have nothing and nobody, and I want to do something with my life.
      Hug Mayflower7, randomname00 hugged this poster.

    2. #2
      Senior Member blacksmoke's Avatar
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      you sound like you are in the deepest pits of black. i am very sorry that you are going through this. can you talk to someone?

      there is usually things on offer for your age group. you would need to google whats going on in your community. have you considered doing some assertiveness classes.

      but you say that you are in a bad way. so are you under the mental heath team/social worker? you are in a bad place and you need help urgently. when was the last time you spoke to anyone?

      it saddens me that your life has become as bad as this. you need courage to reach out which is what you are doing by joining this forum. please take better care of yourself. are you punishing yourself for past things?

      Boldy going forwards as i couldn't find reverse..

    3. #3
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      Likolada,

      I am sorry to hear of your situation,it must be very painful for you.
      I think you need help and are admitting your problems so are making a right beginning.
      You need long term help and immediate help.
      You have mental issues with the agoraphobia and you may not be aware but your problems with gaining weight are an eating disorder.
      First you need immediate help for help with personal care and domestic help in the home.
      Are you claiming and in receipt of benefits?You need to claim and ask for a social worker from the council to assess you for a personal care package.
      Then get in touch with your local eating disorder support group and ask them to visit you at home and give you ongoing support.
      Eventually I suggest leaving your home for short walks when you are ready and starting with ten minute walks and building up an extra five minutes when you are ready till you can do half an hour a day.
      But not to begin,baby steps will help you don't worry about long term or reaching your goal,take it one day at a time.
      See your GP too they might be able to help you lose weight by offering you surgery to shrink your stomach.
      We will support you here on the forum as much as we can.You are not alone.Please don't hurt yourself,but do tell your GP about your suicidal feelings,he is there to help, he should refer you for counselling.If the people I have suggested to ask for help aren't helpful you must fight for your right to help,don't give up,but I think in your position you should be a priority for them so please do ask them for help.

      Lots of hugs from mePeople do care and will help.Consider also telling your family your problems they may surprise you and want to help.

      All the best.I am here everyday and want to help support you.PM me if you prefer to talk more privately.
      Nikitax



      Beat | The UK's Eating Disorder Charity

    4. #4
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      You may need medical intervention for the weight along with mental health care. Don't ignore one while trying to focus on the other.

    5. #5
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      I found it helpfull to wright a to do list of even the smallest things, like cutting my nails or big things like cleaning my house and all those things in between. It really helps get you going.

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