I want to take my life back because I'm at my lowest
So my life is at my lowest point right now and I don't know what to do and I need guidance or practically any help to set me in the right direction because I'm the lowest a human being can be right now.
I'm 23 and 5 years ago i was kicked out of college for not attending behind my moms back and it all went downhill from there. I was kicked out of my house and told I had to make it on my own now. I couldn't find a job so I went on welfare and moved in a tiny apartment in a flat. For the last 5 years all I've been doing is eating and drinking.
I went from being kinda skinny to being overweight/obese to the point where I get worn out from walking down the corridor and I struggle to fit through my apartment door. I'm too big for all the clothes I brought with me now so I spend all day lounging around in my underwear doing nothing but being a slob. I have to get friends and family members to get the gas and electric for me because I'm too paranoid to go outside now. I never shave too so I literally look like an overweight ape. I'm too paranoid to go and get help and I'm too lazy to make sudden changes in my life. I'm too scared to let my parents see me like this. I'm only going to get bigger until eventually I die. I hardly ever shower and this apartment smells like shit. I've contemplated suicide in the past but never worked up the courage.
I want to make a change but I don't know where to start, or how to work up courage. Please, someone, give me help and the will to make a change. I have nothing and nobody, and I want to do something with my life.
you sound like you are in the deepest pits of black. i am very sorry that you are going through this. can you talk to someone?
there is usually things on offer for your age group. you would need to google whats going on in your community. have you considered doing some assertiveness classes.
but you say that you are in a bad way. so are you under the mental heath team/social worker? you are in a bad place and you need help urgently. when was the last time you spoke to anyone?
it saddens me that your life has become as bad as this. you need courage to reach out which is what you are doing by joining this forum. please take better care of yourself. are you punishing yourself for past things?
Boldy going forwards as i couldn't find reverse
You may need medical intervention for the weight along with mental health care. Don't ignore one while trying to focus on the other.
I found it helpfull to wright a to do list of even the smallest things, like cutting my nails or big things like cleaning my house and all those things in between. It really helps get you going.
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