Living like a hermit
First of all, I would like to say thanks for everyone whom will dedicate your precious time to answer my post.
Had an severe OCD seven years ago. Long story short, today I am healed, but now living like a hermit spending full time in my house with literally no one to talk besides my mom. It is driving me nuts because I am like this for 2 years.
Any close friends I had before the disease, including my own older brother whom was my best and closest friend, ran away not enduring the "bad behavior" of my OCD. Today such people refuses to talk with me even if I am healed now. I gave up of them after always being treated like garbage. My brother, for example, once replied an email I sent in ridiculous 5 months!
It seems like a revenge to put me in a silence prison and it is working because during my OCD years they knew I spent all day long in my house, mostly of the time taking insane 3 hours baths and thus literally I became alienated with no way to go losing all my social skills. So if they decide to ignore me, they know I will not have other options to talk.
Psychiatrist medications never did anything good. It only made me worse. My heal was a God bless.
Now at 28 years old, I am not sick anymore but feeling completely lost as a consequence to my previous OCD. I would like to leave my home, but alone I don't feel motivated enough to do nothing. I just want a special someone to talk as my brother used to be in the past. But I have no clue where to search. In the Internet, following relationship websites I only find nasty/sick/rapers/sexual-addicted people.
I just realized a love relationship would make me recover since I would be supported and constantly referenced on where to go coming from someone who didn't spent years of life locked in home. But I had not any girlfriend in my entire life because before my OCD I was still too young and during the OCD I simply couldn't.
The main point is not having will to do anything outside my home. It is worthy to say I work at home, doing my own job as a store owner online, so this keeps me from meeting new people.
It is terrible. Tried some 5 or 6 therapists and they didn't tell me nothing worthy. Just a waste if time and money making more depressed.
Thanks a lot for anyone helping me out. You guys are real super heroes.
Note: I live in Brazil. Not in USA (unfortunately).
Last edited by Evermore; 02-01-17 at 08:02.
hugged this poster.
to the forum.
to the forum
Please, MODERATOR: DELETE my post.
I am sorry to hear that you feel not motivated enough. I just want to tell you to look optimistically: you are healed! I think you need to just... treat it like jumping into the pool, at first you are feeling uncomfortable because the water may be cold or scared to change the body environment, but when you jump the feeling then disappears and your feeling changes to feeling great and happy. I know how OCD makes you feel and how OCD makes your life because I suffer from severe form of OCD now and I am on ZELDOX that makes the symptoms even more terrible but I am able to control my behavior better. I just have no other choice because it is good on my shiz. I know that OCD makes you feel scared to change. You need to jump into the pool of life and dont get stuck on the idea of the girlfriend ( forgive me that I say so)because you need to have a life and be someone, the girlfriend will appear together with that! You need to forgate your past life with the illness and live a healthy life, dont wait for a girlfriend, dont say to yourself that she will heal you, I ve been myself sticking to people or something and thought that they were my saviors, empty expectations! I am not trying to depress you even more, yes I became fatalistic but it is our reality. Life loves the winners and it has always been so and it will always be. God is the God of Strenghth, remember? Its just OCD makes you stuck in such a condition where you live in a cocon. Now you have no OCD, but you are still in that cocon! You need to get out and dont be afraid! The Change! I think you need to motivate yourself artificially because OCD sort of makes you in such a condition where you feel like you are not motivated, it is part of OCD, its not You!! You need to discover yourself now! Treat this as a part of recovery: the beast is gone but emptyness left. Fill up that emptyness. Believe God. We are special people. You have power sleeping within. Search for every thing that will motivate you: the song, the movie, positive people, activities, sport, book, magazine, anything you can imagine. Discover your brain abilities. For example, I am inspireded by the song "Its my life" by John Bon Jovi. Get rid of being intimidated because it is OCD effect, it's not real you! You just need to start your life and forgate your past, like from the white piece of paper.
I hope I have given you something to think about that will help you.
I suffer terribly from OCD I am on Zeldox and on BTH without doctor but myself. My doc knows little of OCD but a lot af shiz. So my Shizophrenia gets better and my OCD got... worse...!! He only keeps saying "we're working on it', stupid stuff like that and I have no other doctor who would know of this brain condition so I need to cope myself. Can you tell me what has helped you to heal? It sounds unreal to me to get healed from this mental state. Feel free to talk to me!
Forgive me for telling you not to wait for the relationship, I wanted to say that I think that you need to change the FOCUS. Focus on living your life and becoming someone, this will bring you to meeting EXACTLY the person you need, but it takes some time and patience!
I really appreciate your answer. I will definitely gonna follow your advice.
Originally Posted by Fighting
About your OCD, allow me a few questions so I can better help you:
What is BTH?
The medication triggers OCD or even not taking it you suffer from it anyway?
What kind of OCD you do have?
Since when you suffer from both schiz and OCD?
Do you live alone or with other people?
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