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    Thread: Treat the elderly with respect

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      Default Treat the elderly with respect

      I observe with a sinking heart how these days older people – senior citizens – are increasingly being reduced to being treated like incapable children.

      The following is an example of what may shock and anger you. In a way, I hope it does. I want people to realise that we have to stop treating older people as going through their ‘second childhood’, and rather treat them as the people who have earned and are deserving of much much more respect.

      ‘Oh, Mr. Betts. You’re late back to the coach. That’s really naughty of you!!. We’ve all had a lovely day out at Weston-Super-Mare and we only stopped at the services to let people go to the toilet, and what did you do? Go into McDonalds and ask if they sold beer. Well, so I’ve been told. So, now you go and sit down here where I can keep an eye on you. I don’t want you inviting Mrs Richards to come and sit on your lap. I know how you are and it’s something you should be ashamed of. On the way out I had to confiscate your iPad because you were showing people pictures of rude vegetables. Don’t you realise that some people have a heart problem? Now when we get home, it’s straight to bed with you and tomorrow I’m going to see doctor and get him to increase your medication, although he’ll probably ask why last Sunday lunch for pudding you said ‘Sod the trifle, just give me the sherry’. You never change you. I’ve told you many times to hold your knife properly. Like in Harry Ramsden’s last week – high class restaurant – you refused to hold your knife like what I told you – pencil like – with the end sticking up – that’s the classy way – the way I’ve been trained to show you – and you said ‘Get out of my face you ignorant pleb’. Well, that shows how aggressive you are. You’re lucky we didn’t exclude you from the parachute game even though you say you’re not playing childish games. We know what’s best for you!!. How much does it cost your family to have you in our care? Well, they’d be shocked if they saw how you behave. A disgrace you are. I’ve never known anything like it. You were reasonable when you came in, but now a month later you’ve turned into a right rebel – and we’re not having it. You behave or we’ll have you kept in your room so that you don’t spread your bad influence to others’.

      Get the idea? This is what goes on.

      STOP TREATING older people as senseless imbeciles. Instead, treat them with ADULT respect and INVOLVE them in adult interactions.

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      Senior Member When In Rome's Avatar
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      I'm always treating the elderly with respect. Only the other day I noticed a woman struggling to cross the road being laden with shopping bags. "Can you see me across the road, dear?" she asked me. "I think I can" I answered and crossed the road before confirming to her that I could, before going off on my way.
      If evolution really was a continual process, surely bananas would be round by now. Or straight, depending on which direction they were going.

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      Private nursing and residential homes which are run for profit often too often fail to provide even the most basic levels of care.imo it's a reflection of the society we live in.the carers are minimum wage slaves with a virtually impossible task and society blames them.
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      Don't get old, is my advice.


      BTW I fully intend to be one of those crotchety old bats who is perfectly capable of putting the patronizing back in their place myself.

      I possibly already am, inside
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      Thanks for sharing that Melchy. My mother is 80 and she is in an assisted living but so far I have never seen anyone treat her like a kid. But this can't be said for everyone I have often seen people lose their patience with senior citizens in the supermarket calling them slow. It is very painful to watch. I just wish that people would be more understanding and respectful.

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      I remember when I was a child I got called a ginger bastard by an old granny, well she was right I am a bastard because I have no parents but that bitch ass is probably dead now lol. its funny thinking back on things.

      I do respect old ladies tho like last year I decided to dress dress up as an 80's punk and I kept getting old ladies asking me to help them with stuff.
      Last edited by WheatCrunchies; 25-01-17 at 02:03.
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      I have worked in residential homes and that attitude is normal. But you see mental health workers do it to people with mental illness too. Treating people like children, resenting them and presuming that they know best is the default attitude. There's no caring involved, just condescending and patronising actions. And manipulation of people in vulnerable mental states. I feel grateful that I probably won't live long enough to make it to the nursing home. I'm not surprised no one wants to be there!!
      Last edited by georgia may; 13-02-17 at 08:16.

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      Senior Member Kerome's Avatar
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      Yeah my grandmother ended up in successively more "caring" care homes. First in a place where she still had quite a lot of autonomy, then in a place where they had to help her with nearly everything before she died. She got to be 90 though.

      I found it difficult to visit her in the later care homes. I don't think I went a single time by myself, always with my mother. But then I found it difficult to have a strong contact with my grandmother, she had a very different kind of life. She was very much into the Church, and part of a community, where I have been more a nomad in my life.

      But I remember the care home. My mother and her sisters were never very happy with what happened there. She would lose her fake teeth or hearing aids, and then the staff wouldn't go look for them but the family would be called.

      Also my grandmother got into conflicts a few times with the other inhabitants, accusing them of kicking her under the table, or of hitting her. And instead of the aggressors being tackled my grandmother got isolated. Bad management practice.
      People are worried and unhappy in direct proportion to the lack of love in their lives.
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      At least she didn't get someone elses teeth! It's all about the money though IMO.my partner has been a carer for 22 years.she gets paid barely above minimum wage, yet her job is very demanding.one home she found out had a budget of 50p per day per resident for food.yet the owners were living a luxurious lifestyle. Personally I believe there is a special place in hell reserved for people like that.along with pip assessors.
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      Senior Member freshstart2016's Avatar
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      All people from all walks of life whether elderly, mentally ill, LD, children whichever should be treated with respect and dignity and taken by face value.

      The sad part is not everyone gets treated respectly. The irony is this is the world we live in today.

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