Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
    Results 1 to 10 of 13

    Thread: My son is having mental health problems

    1. #1
      Member
      Join Date
      Nov 2016
      Location
      United Kingdom
      Posts
      5

      Default My son is having mental health problems

      I'm really worried about my 18 year old son, he's been having some clear mental health problems but refuses to get help. He's attempted suicide 3 times in the past 4 years and been hospitalised twice for them but was let go both times because of bed shortages. He's also a frequent self harmer. I thought it was depression but recently he's developed signs of something more. I'll give you examples -

      - Very, very paranoid. He won't let anyone make him a drink or his dinner cause he's scared we'll put something in it. I'm his father, I wouldn't do that but he still doesn't trust me. Also he's put stickers over all the cameras on his phone, iPad, laptop because he thinks he's being spied on. He also has a list of things which he has to repeat multiple times a day, he thinks if he doesn't say these things then 'something bad' will happen. I could give a hundred more examples of his paranoia.

      - He also does this thing where he'll be fine then he stops what he's doing and closes his eyes, puts his hands on his head and pauses the TV and tells everyone to be quiet. He mumbles but I can't hear what he's saying, it's like he's talking to his head which is scary if he's hearing voices. This last for a few minutes then it's back to normal like nothing happened. He's says he just needed silence to think. He also paces a lot, walking back and forth his bedroom with his eyes closed and mumbling, again it's like he's talking to his head.

      - He used to be a social guy with lots of friends. Now, he doesn't go out, he doesn't speak to anyone. He doesn't have a job so just sits in his bedroom all day. I try to get him out and about but he just doesn't want to. He has no motivation. We also used to be really close but he doesn't want to talk to me anymore or spent any time with me and his brothers.

      It's in my gut there's something seriously wrong here, it's not 'just' depression. I've looked online and I've seen bipolar, schizophrenia, personality disorders which is scary but we can get through that if that's the case. I want to take him to the doctor but he's very quick to anger when I suggest there's something wrong.

      What can I do to help him? I was thinking about calling the hospital he was in or even the police to see if they could detain him under the Mental Health Act but I fear he'll never trust me again and I'm scared he'll do something stupid but that feels like the only option. I'm desperate

    2. #2
      Senior Member BorderlineDownunder's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2015
      Posts
      17,132
      My Mood
      Cool

      Default

      I'm sorry what an awful situation to be in.

      You must get him treatment. Trust can be rebuilt but mental health tends to spiral downwards if not Actively Treated.

      You wouldn't let him limp about on an unset broken leg, its the same principle.

      good luck
      BDU
      Thanks Nathan1976 gave thanks for this post.

    3. #3
      ACCOUNT CLOSED
      Join Date
      Jul 2016
      Posts
      1,376
      My Mood
      Amazed

      Default

      Sounds very tough Nathan, i'm sorry your family is suffering this.

      Does your son talk to you or anyone about any of it? Explained the reasons behind the suicide attempts? What he thinks you might be putting in his food/drink? Or what he is thinking about when he tells everyone to be quiet and puts his hands over his ears etc?

      From what you've posted it does sound possible that he is suffering from a psychotic episode. Have you read much about psychosis? Mind has a quite good section on how to help support someone going through it For friends and family | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems

      I would seriously advice you to avoid involving the police in this, it is really not nice being detained by the police, some of them are not good with mental health and it can take a really long time to get an assessment that way. If you feel you do have to arrange a mental health act assessment for your son i would advice you to speak to your gp for advice instead. It is of course best if at all possible to work with your son rather than force treatment but i understand this isn't always seen as possible and as he has a history of suicide attempts i completely understand not wanting to take risks
      Thanks Nathan1976 gave thanks for this post.

    4. #4
      ACCOUNT CLOSED
      Join Date
      Jul 2016
      Posts
      1,376
      My Mood
      Amazed

      Default

      i have in the past had experiences of thinking my family are trying to poison me and they were very confrontational and aggressive with me about it which really didn't help ease my fears. I understand they were scared and worried and you will be feeling the same but i would say try not to take any of his behaviours personally and try to avoid making judgements of him (e.g. my Dad would get angry at me for being "weird" and not going out with friends, with hindsight i understand he was trying to help but it was anything but helpful) You sound like an understanding man so i don't think from your post you would be like that but i thought it might be helpful to hear from someone who has been in potentially a similar situation to your son
      Thanks Nathan1976 gave thanks for this post.

    5. #5
      Senior Member BorderlineDownunder's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2015
      Posts
      17,132
      My Mood
      Cool

      Default

      Please speak to your GP or find a helpline. youre not letting him down youll be looking after him.
      Last edited by amathus; 10-11-16 at 19:45. Reason: Moderation - first sentence unhelpful.
      Thanks Nathan1976 gave thanks for this post.

    6. #6
      Member
      Join Date
      Nov 2016
      Location
      United Kingdom
      Posts
      5

      Default

      Quote Originally Posted by fidget View Post
      Sounds very tough Nathan, i'm sorry your family is suffering this.

      Does your son talk to you or anyone about any of it? Explained the reasons behind the suicide attempts? What he thinks you might be putting in his food/drink? Or what he is thinking about when he tells everyone to be quiet and puts his hands over his ears etc?

      From what you've posted it does sound possible that he is suffering from a psychotic episode. Have you read much about psychosis? Mind has a quite good section on how to help support someone going through it For friends and family | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems

      I would seriously advice you to avoid involving the police in this, it is really not nice being detained by the police, some of them are not good with mental health and it can take a really long time to get an assessment that way. If you feel you do have to arrange a mental health act assessment for your son i would advice you to speak to your gp for advice instead. It is of course best if at all possible to work with your son rather than force treatment but i understand this isn't always seen as possible and as he has a history of suicide attempts i completely understand not wanting to take risks
      He doesn't talk to me or anyone else about this (that I know of) I've tried many times but he reacts badly and I'm too scared to push his buttons when he's already so fragile. I'm walking on eggshells. Nothing feels worse than your own son wanting to die and feels he can't even talk to you about it. I can't force him to talk so I just have to remind him that I'm here for him if he does want to talk and try to find other ways to help him.

      With the drinks/food he says he's scared I'll put something in it so I'm assuming he thinks I'm going to poison him. It was heartbreaking that my son thinks I might try to kill him but I understand that's the paranoia talking so I just let him get on with it. Also, when I ask him what he's thinking about he says 'stuff' so that's frustrating. Doesn't make it better when his younger brothers are always teasing him over it and trying to irritate him when his 'thinking' which makes my son very angry and agitated.

      Thanks for the link, I'll have a look. I've read a lot about psychosis and all the different types of causes. I just want him to get help, it's just he won't accept it. The police is the last option and I really don't want to get them involved. The GP is an option and one I'm heavily considering. I'm going to speak to him tomorrow and try to get him to open up and try to convince him to get help. If that doesn't work then I'll have to consider seeing the GP for other options.

      Thank you for your own experience too, it's helpful to see things from the other prospective. I'm trying to be calm and patient with him as like I said I'm walking on eggshells and I don't want to say the wrong thing.
      Hug fidget hugged this poster.

    7. #7
      Member
      Join Date
      Nov 2016
      Location
      United Kingdom
      Posts
      5

      Default

      Quote Originally Posted by BorderlineDownunder View Post
      I'm sorry what an awful situation to be in.

      You must get him treatment. Trust can be rebuilt but mental health tends to spiral downwards if not Actively Treated.

      You wouldn't let him limp about on an unset broken leg, its the same principle.

      good luck
      BDU
      I know, it's just an impossible situation. I'm looking at all the other options first before I try to force him but I want him to get better even if he'll hate me for it. Thank you.
      Last edited by Nathan1976; 10-11-16 at 20:40.
      Hug BorderlineDownunder hugged this poster.

    8. #8
      Member
      Join Date
      Nov 2016
      Location
      United Kingdom
      Posts
      5

      Default

      Deleted
      Last edited by Nathan1976; 10-11-16 at 20:47. Reason: Double Post
      Hug fidget hugged this poster.

    9. #9
      Senior Member BorderlineDownunder's Avatar
      Join Date
      Nov 2015
      Posts
      17,132
      My Mood
      Cool

      Default

      Nathan

      perhaps the most immediate step you can take is to get YOURSELF some support. put the oxygen mask on the parent first, the airlines say, otherwise the kids have no one to look after them.

      monkey see monkey do, if he sees YOU reaching out for help, hes more likely to ask for some also.

      BDU
      Thanks Nathan1976 gave thanks for this post.

    10. #10
      ACCOUNT CLOSED
      Join Date
      Jul 2016
      Posts
      1,376
      My Mood
      Amazed

      Default

      It sounds like you're handling this as well as you can, he is lucky to have you there for him. It must be exhausting walking on eggshells and not knowing what is going on but you are right, he can't be forced to talk. I wish i had some real advice for you, it sounds incredibly tough and there is no way of knowing what the "right" course of action is. Do you get any support for this yourself? A partner or a counsellor?
      Thanks Nathan1976 gave thanks for this post.

    Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

    Tags for this Thread

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •