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  1. valleygirl

    A kid I used to babysit died of a drug overdose last week

    She wasn't a kid anymore. She was adopted, and was born with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. I knew she was homeless and an addict, but it still comes as such a shock. I just got a text from my mom that they went to her funeral this afternoon. Kinda wish I'd known earlier so I could have...
  2. Dontnowat2doanymore

    feel so alone.

    Hi all. It all started in April 2016 my dad suddenly died. I feel so guilty bout it as I was supposed to go visit the day before but couldn’t as my little one was Ill. So I live with that guilt on a daily basis. Then my brother keeps messaging me saying it’s all my fault my dad died as I didn’t...
  3. B

    Does this happen to anyone else?

    I often think about what would happen if I died, not as in committing suicide but what would happen after? Would people be truly upset? What would happen at my funeral? Is this normal?
  4. Run Like Hell


    My mother has passed and as well as dealing with that deep sadness I will have to face dozens of her friends and my wider family at her funeral. I feel utter terror at this and feel like resorting to alcohol even though I should not be using it because of the medication I'm on.
  5. Fairy Lucretia

    it's not selfish

    when you have tried for so hard to fight but are just worn down and can no longer carry on you have to think about yourself ,i tried for so long to avoid doing it on birthdays ,special occasions but i need to go im not being selfish ,i know they will be sad but i am at the very end 5 people...
  6. M

    Can't stop thinking about dying

    I can't get the thought of myself dying out of my head. I'm not having suicidal thoughts but I always think of myself dying in whatever situation I'm in, for example, if I'm driving on the highway I picture myself crashing and dying all the way through to my own funeral. I've been thinking about...
  7. P

    im in a frustrating situation.

    Hello everyone. I guess i just need to vent and get support for what has happened. A guy that I chatted to a few years ago- we met on a dating site and chatted for a few weeks and added each other on fb. There wasn't a connection so we both just went our seperate ways but remained friends on...
  8. S


    Hi all I'm new here I have been suffering with anxiety and depression for many years on and off .... lately it has been very bad .... My dear dad passed away January 2nd and I am devastated. I live in South Yorkshire and my dads funeral is in Swansea .. the journey is a good 4-6 hours away ...
  9. Poopy Doll

    Appropriate Conversation at Funerals

    The last funeral I attended, I regressed to the age of nine and couldn't talk to anybody. The conversation was mostly memories of the deceased. No one talked about the soul of the deceased. No one talked about the deceased's soul having gone to another plane in a multi dimensional universe. I...
  10. I

    suicide is only option

    Hi the future is so scary and I'm in too much pain from these bullies and users who I thought were friends and who were horrible and just used me I done everything for them,I'm thinking if I can get past three last few weeks at work and then do it on a day in the summer hol and start writing...
  11. D

    Stepmum might ban me from funeral

    My dad is dying. He has 2 forms of cancer, 2 strokes & he now needs dialysis. My stepmum who speaks little English has always been jealous of me & my sister. She has never accepted us & has for years gradually stopped us seeing our dad. Whether it would be she'd throw a wobbler on a day out or...
  12. student12

    my life has no purpose anymore

    i BEEN feeling trapped with a job that is low paying and very stressful. it has its good points but lately i been increasingly depressed. and am even considering ending it all. But i guess i am alone and people just don't care. That is why when i am finally dead and gone the only people i want...
  13. tiltawhirl

    Cannot see my dying mother

    I am coming unwound. First I don't know what is going on so that I nod off during the day and then lay down for a nap and today, then slept until 4am! I have cut BACK my meds. Second....I wrote my dad asking to borrow money to go see David's dad. Just now, I checked my email...it has taken...
  14. queenpink

    i give up

    i dont believe i deserve to live.I have fibromyalgia and arthritis and im only 27.Im in severe pain all the time and i get super depressed(i have clincal depression among other mental illnesses) and i now am fed up of my shitty life and people bullying me online.I am on disability so i dont do...
  15. B

    Don't want to go to sleep funeral tomorrow

    I don't want to go to sleep when I wake up it will be Nans funeral I seen her in the chapel of rest and she didn't even look my nan she was so cold I freaked out when I first seen her I eventually held her hand for an hour before I had to go an kissed her on the cheek like I always did when I...
  16. queenpink

    i was suicidal

    Yesterday i was suicidal and friday after the court case.I was sexually assaulted last year and the case was on friday.He got off because they said i could have hallucinated the attack...i didnt!!!!They didnt convict him because of my mental heal health.Im fuming.fuck the justice system.He...
  17. A

    Any advice dealing with loss?

    Most of us with bpd are over sensitive when it comes to loss, so I am hoping I can get some advice here. Last week I lost my cousin to an overdose. Due to my mental state I have pretty much quit talking to all my friends (he was was one of my best friends) about 4 years ago. Now I have so many...
  18. F

    My father

    He's getting on (85) but it would be best if I died before him . I am racked with reoccurring anxiety/guilt about his funeral when he dies. He lives in North Carolina and there is no way I can cope with flying to the States for a funeral. Yet if I don't go I will be a worthless shit . Dying...
  19. Lincoln1990

    Is it wrong I'm not going to the funeral?

    There was a little girl killed in my town. I didn't know her but it happened two blocks from my house. She was struck and killed by a car. She was 7. Her funeral is on Friday and I feel like I'm obligated to go. But I haven't been to a child's funeral since my own daughter's. Plus I just had a...
  20. G


    Here goes I hate myself I hAte my life I hate my ex I am in so much pain I am ruminating about suicide I want to self harm I want to drink and take as much drugs as possible I need a hospital stay I love my daughter and family but cannot be there How can the world keep going on when I'm sad I'm...