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  1. B

    Crashing, spiralling

    I’ve been diagnosed with BPD a couple months ago, but I had my suspicions since childhood. Fast forward lots of adverse experiences, emotional, physical, sexual abuse, neglect…suicide attempts, PTSD… I’m in the middle of a criminal investigation about one thing and a separate ex-partner was just...
  2. D

    I’m so lost.

    I love to write. Ever since I was little, it’s always been the best way I can express myself. But I’ve written my stories and pain in a diary for so long and feel like I’m screaming into the darkness, where no one can hear me. I know nothing about forums, but I stumbled upon this in my nightly...
  3. valleygirl

    Clutter, Chaos, and Despair

    I feel like my life is chaos. My apartment is once again in a state of disaster. I don't know what my problem is, why I can't seem to maintain order. I manage to cope with work five days a week, but somehow the mess in my apartment just gets worse and worse. I think I have too much stuff. I...
  4. W

    Sodium Valporate.

    Word of warning :When you're at lifes end the NHS will wailon you. Sodium Valporate 2grams per day is ruining my quality of life. I can't achieve anything on the meds and I've been on them 17 years in excess now.... What am I gonna do?!
  5. Z

    Biting nails, desire to chain smoke, involuntary movements

    I recently had a conversation about my future that apparently left me more agitated and pensive than I had initially cared to admit. I've been biting my nails to the point where some areas hurt to the touch, combating a strong urge to chain smoke my way out of despair and experiencing what seem...
  6. P

    Not sure if this is part of BPD

    Well, after surviving hours of relentless depression and despair to the point I very nearly self harmed, I now feel like I am on top of the world. Don't get me wrong I am by no means thinking I can be a popstar or something unreasonable like that but I feel like I am gonna get sh*t done tomorrow...
  7. D

    BPD and alcohol

    I'm new to this forum so my apologies if this topic has already been discussed. I wanted to see if anyone else struggles with alcoholism and if you have any tips on managing it. I find it hard to stick with not drinking because my emotions are all over the place. I really do want to stop...
  8. C

    My hope for my sanity is gone...

    I accidentally posted in the depression forum first, but felt it was more appropriate here considering this feels like paranoiaI/delusion/anxiety. I don't really know what to say about this. My mind's been on a constant wheel just thinking about what ifs. Every time the anxious feeling comes...
  9. S

    How do I make my wife understand?

    I have suffered with depression for over 10 years now, maybe longer but I was only diagnosed in 2014. My wife finds it difficult when I have lapses and always asks if I am off my medicine as she believes this is the cure for everything. Can anyone else relate to their partners not understanding...
  10. cpuusage

    The Great Grief: How To Cope with Losing Our World

    The Great Grief: How To Cope with Losing Our World | Common Dreams | Breaking News & Views for the Progressive Community Climate scientists overwhelmingly say that we will face unprecedented warming in the coming decades. Those same scientists, just like you or I, struggle with the emotions...
  11. N


    Hello all. I know some of you read my other mammoth thread about feeling like I was on the verge. I'm back at work after six weeks off - part time - but I kind of wish they'd just fire me so I could climb into bed, lock the doors, and wait to die. I know how melodramatic that is and, don't...
  12. C

    Help required with excessively fearful anxiety and intrusive thoughts

    Hi, I'm a 17 year old guy with a loving family and a pretty life. I've had OCD when I was 7 but it was successfully brought under control. But all of a sudden the OCD returned last month and by last week, it had took a monstrous approach towards my life. I was googling on OCD when I was hit with...
  13. E


    Today I heard about a woman who was distressed and wanted to kill herself. The police had closed the road. People in my office were talking about it, but focusing on the fact that they had been inconvenienced, not giving a thought for the woman and the terrible distress she must have been...
  14. valleygirl

    Therapy felt awful today

    Today therapy felt awful. I wrote a letter of sorts to my therapist after our session. I won't read it verbatim to her next time we meet, but I probably need to tell her a lot of the stuff I wrote. This is what I wrote. I know it's long, and if you get through it, great, and if you don't...
  15. HairsprayQueen

    Life is very unfair

    I'm writing because I have to tell someone this, it has bothered me for years. I have depression, which I think is caused by a number of things. I have had OCD since I was a kid, and along with it came trichotillomania and emetophobia. I am also asexual. I cannot speak to anyone in real life...
  16. valleygirl


    It's been like this for too long, this battle with despair, and the depression is winning, sucking my life and breath away. I think it's too late for me to get better. I've been depressed for more years than not. My thoughts don't know how to not be depressed. I've lost hope.
  17. R

    Barely keeping it together

    I have been faking it for a long time. But everything is falling apart. I don't want to worry my kids - they are 13 and 15. We have no money, I lost my job and am not having any luck finding another one. We are in debt up to our ears. My husband has a good job, but it isn't enough. I think we...
  18. C

    Lamcital/Lamotegrine HELP!

    Hi Guys, Is there anyone else on this? I was recently diagnosed with EUPD (BPD) and am on the starting dose 25mgs. The first week I started i felt like I was in my own personal hell, and in complete despair, the second week jittery, depressed and anxious and this week starting the 3rd week I...
  19. M

    I don't know what is going on

    It's hard to work out what is happening. I have days of pure despair. I am shattered but don't want to sleep. I struggle to move from my bed. I can't concentrate on anything and today it was at its worse and I'm scared of doing something stupid. I haven't had any trauma in my life and it's been...
  20. valleygirl

    There's no way out

    I'm stuck in my mind and in my despair.