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    Thread: Is this OCD?

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      Default Is this OCD?

      I have a habit of obsessively regretting past mistakes, and this is probably partially caused by OCD. Consider the following example. It happened to me several times, I said I would begin studying at, say, 7 pm. But I start studying at 7:10 pm. I start getting frustrated and regretting this 'mistake' for the following 20 minutes. Then I realize how utterly irrational this is; I just wasted 20 minutes in pointless regret instead of just beginning my study. Then I start regretting I could have possibly been so irrational and spend the next 15 minutes regretting.

      It happened several times, I think, that I wasted 45 minutes to an hour before I finally began to study.

      First, do you think this is OCD? I think it almost certainly is.

      Now, the same thing has been happening, but for much more serious 'mistakes' I've made. I won't go into detail, but I did some things that resulted in some negative consequences for my life. While I've made some improvements over the last year, one of the primary reasons why I didn't work harder was that every time I want to take a systematic approach towards improvement, I get flooded with thoughts of regret of how I even got into that situation in the first place.

      Now, I regret the fact I've 'wasted' this whole year on such irrational worries.

      Do you think this is also OCD?

    2. #2
      Senior member Mayfair's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by dice3510 View Post
      I have a habit of obsessively regretting past mistakes, and this is probably partially caused by OCD. Consider the following example. It happened to me several times, I said I would begin studying at, say, 7 pm. But I start studying at 7:10 pm. I start getting frustrated and regretting this 'mistake' for the following 20 minutes. Then I realize how utterly irrational this is; I just wasted 20 minutes in pointless regret instead of just beginning my study. Then I start regretting I could have possibly been so irrational and spend the next 15 minutes regretting.

      It happened several times, I think, that I wasted 45 minutes to an hour before I finally began to study.

      First, do you think this is OCD? I think it almost certainly is.

      Now, the same thing has been happening, but for much more serious 'mistakes' I've made. I won't go into detail, but I did some things that resulted in some negative consequences for my life. While I've made some improvements over the last year, one of the primary reasons why I didn't work harder was that every time I want to take a systematic approach towards improvement, I get flooded with thoughts of regret of how I even got into that situation in the first place.

      Now, I regret the fact I've 'wasted' this whole year on such irrational worries.

      Do you think this is also OCD?
      Well, it sounds familiar.

      I think it's certainly a part of aspects that relate to many issues that include OCD.

      I was reading my new book earlier and funnily enough, this was written by (not someone mentally ill) but a logical genius, and she said "I have to go to the gym for 5 mins, that is all. If I leave AFTER that 5 mins, I won't feel guilty". She then goes to gym, and then has choice leave at 5 mins and not feel guilty, or stay slightly/ or much longer and gains the benefit of the gym.

      I had a second chance at studying a few years ago, and what you wrote there, is exactly what I did, and I ended up quitting. I just couldn't cope with the guilt of doing something I enjoyed, because I felt I should have been studying.

      What I read earlier, what you have said, and my little story are all connected in some way. It's obvious.
      I like gardening if it is sunny and warm. Otherwise f*** that!!

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      I had a second chance at studying a few years ago, and what you wrote there, is exactly what I did, and I ended up quitting. I just couldn't cope with the guilt of doing something I enjoyed, because I felt I should have been studying.
      I'm not sure I entirely understand what you mean by this. Care to elaborate?

      Are you saying you had the same issues I do?

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      Hi Dice,
      The first and second examples you give are classic vicious circles caused by procrastination (procrastination followed by regret causing further procrastination) complicated by your obsession with finding fault with yourself and beating yourself up for what you have done wrong.
      As per your last thread, this procrastination could also be said to be a type of paralysis.

      Is that OCD? I don't know - but it certainly points to fear of failure, fear of not being up to the task and the result of the procrastination is that it reinforces your feelings of low self-worth.
      I don't know much about OCD, but wonder if these beliefs cause people with OCD to behave in the way that they do?

      Dice, a journal was suggested to you in the last thread as a way of identifying common themes in your behaviour. I'm not sure how you felt about that?
      Personally, I find it enlightening to write down each of the behaviours I display which are troublesome and to add to them over a period of time. Patterns emerge. By looking at those patterns it can help you identify what is happening, and by putting them online in a journal perhaps you would benefit from the opinions of others too?
      Just a thought.
      x

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