How does one go about it dealing with low self-esteem?

[Mrmagic]

Hi,

I am feeling sort of fine after a few days of general pessimism. As often when I return from a mood slump I want to 'get better' of course I then evaluate my life - options I have and am not sire how to go about it.

One of the major problems I find is that I become very caged around other people. I have just moved back home from a lousy experience at University & I find myself often stuck in the one room designated to me. I don't feel comfortable around the house with others and find that I don't like to project myself in general.

I don't have any friends here, so I have no where to go. I am meant to be finding a job, but after previous experience in retail I fill up with dread at the thought of going back to such a working environment.

The main issue I want to address here is what to do against a major case of low self esteem. I am comfortable with myself, but a soon as I am near others I instantly feel awkward. I can barely walk outside and pass someone on the street without my breathing becoming erratic. I'm sick of it, these nerves taking over, being so fragile.

Part of it I believe is that I cannot stand people who are arrogant or over confident. Not because I am jealous, I find it repulsive. But then of course I look at me in the opposite end of the spectrum this opposite mess and I hate it.

I have only ever been able to confide in one person within my life, that was when I was in a relationship which was 3-4 years ago. Not a day goes by where I wish I had such comfort and joy within my life again, but she has moved on of course. Something I cannot seem to do... it's got to the point where I would define it as grief.

I'm just in a position in my life where I don't know where to go, I cannot hide away in education anymore, I am stuck this 'real world' with no options, no opportunities, no contact. I feel as if my future has be swept beneath my feet, as if I am walking down a path in a parallel universe, a pathway which leads to nowhere.

[Foxjo]

Hi Mr M
im sorry you have had to leave uni. your right i found after uni the real world was really scarey!
uni doesnt prepare you for what its like!

i found it hard too to find a direction. while i was at college and uni i worked in newspapers- promotions/ door to door sales then i progressed into newspaper sales and advertising. the thing is i knew no different. i got to the stage where i didnt like it any more but i didnt know anything else that i could do.
my best advice: go and sit with an employment agency, do some temping. thats what i did, i tried lots of different types of jobs until one came along that i loved, i then spent the last ten years in that trade. temping gives you the perfect chance to try out different roles, if you live with your mum and dad too there is not as much pressure (ie paying a mortgage). so you can use temping.

the end of a relationship is like grief, you no longer have that person , your emotional rock and it does take time to get over. dont put a time limit on when you should feel ok, it doesnt work like that.
please keep talking, i hope ive given you something to think about?
hugs
Fox