Can't even do a poxy voluntary job

[ranger]

I can't even do a poxy little voluntary job without getting voices and panic.

Pain in the fucking arse!!

That is all!!

[ranger]

Incredibly wound up.

Been to rethink today as well. Spoke about what I could do. Got totally wound up.

Very anxious. No one to talk to. Going to bed now and going to take my medication.

Going to relax now. Can't ever seem to do too much.

Have a lot of limitations. No psychological problems.

It is all the way the illnesses affect me. Hopefully I will be a bit more chilled out tomorrow. Can't do hardly anything. Ho hum!!!

[22vince22]

Tommorow's a new day Ranger. Try to chill out with the meds'. Hope you have some good strong stuff at hand.

Best wishes , Vince

[Petalsoup]

sorry the voluntary job didn't work out. What was it doing? Hope rethink were helpful x

[ranger]

Thanks petalsoup and vince.

The voluntary job was in an office of a charity. Not too difficult work, but every single job voulntary, supported or paid I have always had a problem. Learning that this is probably not possible for me. Could do work from home but not around people.

I have never been able to be around for long periods maybe even two or three people even if I know them well without getting symptoms of my schizophrenia or panic disorder.

Yesterday, I spoke to my dad and a girlfriend of mine how this was affecting me. I gradually spoke about things and they said if I couldn't do it at least you know.

It has been frustrating because prior to starting I have been extremely well.

As for rethink yesterday, there are some activities there I could possibly do. Activities like writing their newsletter, going up to houses of parliament, playing football. Don't want to go to centre too much though.

Thank you both

Ranger

[ranger]

The voluntary job, they are all perfectly nice people and when I have been up to see and chat with them prior to starting the role I had absolutely no problem communicating with them. It is only when I try and concentrate on a job that my voices kick in and then when the people around me are talking I become distressed because the voices kick in.

This has always happened throughout my life. This is why I have come to terms with living on my own. It is extremely difficult for me to live with other people. Always has been. I need a lot of my own space and this in general works for me. There are times when I really need others but not all the time. I am going back to bed again now. I am knackered!!!

[Petalsoup]

thats a bummer that the office job didnt work out, good that rethink have some other suggestions though. Try not to be hard on yourself for struggling with things which are hard for you, newsletter writing or something sounds good I sometimes do that sort of thing for the local MH centre. I also quite fancy library books for the housebound, you only have to see people for a little bit to figure out what books theyd like, then go and get them and deliver them. I always thought that would be quite a nice voluntary job.

[ranger]

Thanks Petalsoup. I always put too much pressure on myself to succeed. I am pleased I tried it though. It was also quite a long way away. Maybe I will try something nearer in a very small office. This was quite big and there were at least twenty people there. xx

[Funkyhippo]

Ranger, you're doing a brilliant job, don't expect too much too soon.

PM me whenever you like my friend, i'm always here for you to talk to ok.

xxx