I totaly empathize with you people
I may not be schizophrenic, but I would like to say I totaly empathize with you people. There was a time when I used to experience with any sort of mind-altering psychoactives. I decided I would try delirious drugs because I had read you could have extremely real hallucinations out of them. It was like being into a nightmare... hearing voices taking over my whole consciouness, talking with people that weren't there... I even spoke with things like a pot of flower while thinking they were people. It was a very strange experience... then a few years later, I started to hear voices again as a result of stimulants abuse. I was using benzodiazepines not to freak out and I wrote the things I heard within music or just ambiant noise. Sometimes I am tempted to believe I was just sick in the head... the funny thing is that foreign names and words appear in my writings. I have a huge interest into spirituality and shamanisn. Now I do not speak sanskrit (the sacred language of India) but some entity claimed to call himself Parama which means "ultimate, transcendant reality" in sanskrit... I have ton of other strange bizarre similitudes. Some of the voices I heard self-claimed to be "genius"... I thought it was stupid at first, but I checked out and "genius" are also called "djinns" by musulmans, which are some sort of inorganic creatures which are neither good or evil and sometimes like to play games with humans. The voices often talked about a hole by which they said nothing good would come from it... I didn't paid attention to this until a day I found a hole under a dusty shelf... at the same moment, I saw a cloud of spirits running inside the hole... I was like "what the fuck" and ran after them... outside, under the patio, I saw many coloured spirits and a spider came out from the hole I was checking. In shamanisn, when you throw a bad spell over someone, it often take the visual aspect of a spider that disolve into the target. I only learned that many years later... I also saw in another experience, a similar spirit which was anchored directly over my head. Now now I could go on with a lot of my experiences but it ain't really my point. I just wanted to say I empathize with you people who go through that day after day because I experienced very similar things and I beleive the voices may be very real entities...