please help me

[ABsea]

Heyy thankyou all for the replies so sorry i haven't had time to read them this week!
My new job is great and I'm hoping to go far so that's about the only good thing in my life atm. Oh ya and i finallyy got my puppy, called her Maddie for madison. She's my only love

Yes. I'm a fucking retard for 'working things out' with my bf. But what can i do? I ugh love him and i don't want to. I want to be alone and i know its not right the way I'm getting treated. I dont think that i deserve this and i know i can do much better.. so why the fuck am i here? I'm afraid that maybe he's right that I'm just using him for the roof over my head, the lifestyle of getting pretty much whatever i want. But i know im not the kind of person who would do that :S or maybe it really is this 'love' thing ...i keeo hearing that its crazy.. so why the fuck am i still here?? I dont know. Time will tell and whatever is meant to be will be..

[ABsea]

Holy shit im retarded..

I just realised i only posted yesterday hahaha wtf it feels so much longer!!
My bad

[jaxie40]

Could you take a few days away from your bf to try and work out your feelings, ABsea? Love is so hard to define, and I think sometimes when you've been with someone for a while, you get used to that person being part of your life. however, it doesn't sound like your bf is treating you the way you deserve to be treated. You need to do what's right for you at the end of the day

[Boris]

Im not an arrogant or selfish bastard so if anyone has a problem with me , its their problem.

You sound like you are very much your own person. May I ask with this attitude towards your life, do you suffer much from depression? :-)

[Boris]

Yes. I'm a fucking retard for 'working things out' with my bf.

I'm afraid that maybe he's right that I'm just using him for the roof over my head

There you go again beating yourself up. You`ve made a decision stick by it! It was obviously the right decision for you at the time! I do hope you managed to put your point of view across too, because the above looks very one sided to me. If you want things to work out, your other half needs to know how you feel too, or sooner or later when your patience runs out things will be back where they were before, but you`ll be 10 times more frustrated etc, and he`ll be none the wiser to what he has done...

[Mr. Flibble]

You sound like you are very much your own person. May I ask with this attitude towards your life, do you suffer much from depression? :-)

No, not clinicaly.
Of course events sometimes make me depressed. If it an ongoing thing like when there was a lot of antisocial behaviour aimed at my old house then I did become depressed (forced helplenness, I guess the behaviourists would call it) . I used to work late as I hated going home , not knowing what was ahead of me.
I did discover, though, that depression only lasts a certain amount of time before I switch to a more proactive "enough of this depression,what can I do about this" mode. I guess Im lucky that way.

[Mr. Flibble]

Heyy thankyou all for the replies so sorry i haven't had time to read them this week!
My new job is great and I'm hoping to go far so that's about the only good thing in my life atm. Oh ya and i finallyy got my puppy, called her Maddie for madison. She's my only love

I ugh love him and i don't want to. I want to be alone and i know its not right the way I'm getting treated. I dont think that i deserve this and i know i can do much better.. so why the fuck am i here?

Are you earning enough to get your own place or share a house with friends?

[Mr. Flibble]

Holy shit im retarded..

I just realised i only posted yesterday hahaha wtf it feels so much longer!!
My bad

Thats no big deal at all