Bipolar Embodiment and Spiritual Sensitivity or paranoid schizophrenia?

[Fragile]

I'm genuinely not saying this to back up a buddy.

I had intensive support from a psychiatric social worker for about 9 month, ending last June.

I recieved that support because whilst able to attend psychiatric appointments when drugged, I was at all other times effectively house bound, and unable to engage in any other commitments. I couldn't go to a therapist - because that would involve going outside, and also interacting with another person. I was not 'engaged'. Instead, I recieved support from a social worker precisely for this reason. It was his job to re-engage me with society. It involved simply walking to the shops at times. Or going cycling. Or just having a cup of tea and cigarette.

We happened to get on. But him seeing me had nothing to do with my 'good character'. I was very ill back then. I really wasn't the same person to be around. I doubt his first impressions would have been ''Ah, this guy seems like a friendly guy with a good nature''. I think his reaction would have been ''This guy needs a fair bit of help, and it's my job to provide him that help''.

Can you see my perspective on this now?

[Fragile]

Don't betray your intelligence when defending a friend.

This sounds sort of threatening, and a bit odd.

I'm off to bed.

[Ainsworth]

when i was severely unwell the services didnt even recognise me for help. polite or not, its a postcode lottery and good v bad p-docs and support services.

some of us get left no matter what and i suffered for it.

[ramboghettouk]

it's a bit of both you get support because of how ill you are and also how you present maybe friendly, basically they don't want to be the ones with a parient who's likely to get them in the papers, if they've got the resources available they're more likely to treat as they are is someone presents more socially

[rasselas]

Can you see my perspective on this now?

Thank you. So this support was given to you during the 9 months you chose a drug-free rehabilitation strategy?

That's social support you're describing there and I don't get any of that. I could probably access it but and have in the past but people that haven't known me long can be more trouble than its worth. I get CBT and other talking therapies. Ultimately as an alternative to long-term drugs. It's not exactly a choice I've made; the drugs don't work for me.

[rasselas]

when i was severely unwell the services didnt even recognise me for help. polite or not, its a postcode lottery and good v bad p-docs and support services.

some of us get left no matter what and i suffered for it.

This happened to me too in the beginning. I ended up in a police cell.

[Fragile]

Thank you. So this support was given to you during the 9 months you chose a drug-free rehabilitation strategy?

No, I was heavily drugged.

[rasselas]

That's where the confusion arises.

I'm talking about getting regular so-called talking treatments as an alternative to drugs.

This isn't straightforward. I've worked through paranoid psychoses sans anti-psychotics on quite a number of occasions. I don't keep a count nor am I going to start counting. They happen, I get through them, I move on.

Much of the 'support' as such is encouraging me to deploy the methods of reasoning I developed and went on developing from my first out and out psychosis in my 20s. In the library rather than looking for things to support my delusions (ie. perspectives that would normalise them as non-delusional) I was educating myself both in ways to refute the psychotic content as well as develop logical reasoning to support such endeavours.

Developing logical reasoning has been the one thing I'd say that has kept me on top, largely. Left to my own devices it's very easy for me to forget all that I know. So from my perspective the therapy such as it is is basically reminding me to recall my logical reasoning. This can be difficultt, because you've got to let go of a lot of biases, you've got to loosen your grip on absolutes, and let in contradictions.

So while I may, during severe epsidoes, be intensely paranoid about things, I'll likewise be running parallel beliefs and interpretations. I think it's when you succumb absolutely to a delusional mindset that the trouble really starts.

And of couse, not panicking is the key to all distress.

If they didn't give me this support chances are I'd end up on a CTO and drugged. I recognise that this is nopt available to everyone, everywhere, resources and clinical expertise are thinly stretched.

I am lucky to get this kind of help, but luck isn't why I get it.

Be great if I could move to a position of never needing it; believe me the intervention itself can lead to paranoia and I'm human, I tire of it at times; but the alternative like I say is rather bleak.

The cost to me of all this is the amount of time and energy that is consumed in doing it. But that's incontestably preferable to my mind than the effects I get of sedation, akathisia, rashes, impotence, sleepiness, and other extrapyramidal and paradoxical effects of drugging.

[Fragile]

I understand what you're saying.

I have never known of psychological support to be made available on the NHS for people with our nature of problems.

As you seem to have faith in psychiatry, why not just take a psychiatric drug or combination of drugs, like anyone else?

[rasselas]

As you seem to have faith in psychiatry, why not just take a psychiatric drug or combination of drugs, like anyone else?

Fragilestate, I'm getting a bit fed up of repeating myself.