shit sent email last night been regretting it all day:/

[scaredANDbroken]

i was in a bad place last night and emailed someone who knows of myself and who i often email for support, and to get a reality grip on situations where i am sometimes blinded from letting myself see the truth, but they dont know why i ever started sh, and have ever asked or pushed me to say.

but something triggered me about why i started when i was down last night, and i kind of wrote something in the email which suggests it, does that make sense, know i'm really worried, they know i was only 13 when started sh and if put two and two together not sure what he might do, shit shit shit :/ i was so scatty last night wish i hadnt sent the email god damn it, been stressing over it all day

[wendolene26]

Could you send them another email and just explain a little about your state of mind last night when you wrote the email and perhaps confirm that you are feeling a bit better than you were last night (and I do sincerely hope that you are feeling a bit better). If they are any kind of friend, surely they will understand.



Wendolene

[blacktulip]

I have done this before and i know that gut feeling in your stomach everytime you think of it. Wendolene has very good advice. I hope you are feeling better xx

[scaredANDbroken]

its horrible isn't it tuplip,if i was in any over form of mind i never would of sent it, omg

n thanks wendy but there not so much a friend it was my divisonal leader from when i was cadet, and when i moved up to adults i spoke to him bout uni and stuff n he was really helpful and never judged or anything, and i email him from time to time when i need support, but i never said why i had started sh, as coz of my age guess they would have to have reported it, he not replied and he normally would have by now :/

i dont know what to do, it was kinda wrote in a roundabout way, so he might not pick up on it so by re emailing i may make it worse, but he not replied so maybe he thinking of what to do?

n i was feeling abit better, but then my boss at placement had parked mega close to my car, he had let me know n i had to climb in thru passenger seat, thought id be able get out but gently bumbed side his car, then he had to come move his n have somebody guide us both out, he said about swapping insurance, and i said ok, but then he said its ok, there was hardly any damage but he looked annoyed, there was a tad scratch above the wheel, I've been worrying bout it since, and have a meeting with him at 8am, arghhhh why am i so useless :/