Family Therapist

[sunflower]

I have BPD, married (separated recently because of my poor mental health, and to try get better), and we have 4 kids. Have been with family therapist for 4 years in September. He has known me the longest out of my care team. I started working with him before I was allocated a care co-ord. He has made such a difference to our family in helping us to understand and manage and relate and all that kind of stuff.

Don't know how to explain this. OK. Briefly. Sometimes, when I need to, we have email contact. Had to email him yesterday about something, and heard back from him today. He will tell me things I need to hear, but he does it in such a way that isn't nasty or judgemental or blaming. He helps me see things from hubby's perspective too. He has a special way about him that tells me he really cares. His response helped calm me down a bit. I replied saying I know I get cross easily with my hubby and I do expect him to be super-human. That family therapist was right, I wouldn't know how to deal with it. I am not half the person my hubby is.

This was his (FT) reply.......

No :-) I think you are as great as he is. You just have different things to deal with right now and all of those things are complicated. I always felt that things go best when you can work better as a team. But I know it is all emotive and difficult right now. I have great admiration for both of you.

How touching is that? It was like an emotional hug. It's so good to know we have him looking out for our family - me, hubby, kids. And at a very difficult time for us (see recent threads), he is able to make the welfare of the children paramount, at the same time, being there for me too. Has always tried to help me separate me from my difficulties. xxxx

[jaxie40]

That's great support to have, sunflower. If only there wer more therapists like him around. Keep us informed of your progress hun

[sunflower]

Thank you hun. He's been amazing. I remember the times he's contacted me via email which comes through to my mobile, when I've been suicidal and gone missing. He's stayed late after work (works for NHS) emailing me until I was in safe hands, and with a sense of humour in his contact too. When I was still living at home with hubby and kids, hubby was away for the week and I couldn't cope on my own. Was od'ing on a daily basis. My care team arranged for me to have contact on a daily basis, either with care co-ord, support worker or family therapist, and it was his idea to meet me in an indoor play place with the kids. They went off to play and we chatted over a cuppa. We did that a couple of times. My care co-ord is lovely too. I am very blessed to have the support I have, even though I've sacked them a couple of times, they've not judged me for that but understood, and let me back Bloody hell. Care co-ord, family therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, supported housing, elective home treatment/hospital on a monthly basis. That is a little bit mindblowing when I think about it, and humbling. It took a long time for the support to come together, but it's there now and I am very grateful for it. Please hold onto hope everyone, that there are good people out there. If you feel very alone with your problems, please don't give up on getting help, please keep believing, and I hope you don't have to wait too long. Thank you everyone on here for your support too. And to the Samaritans who I text when I need to. Sometimes it's been daily, sometimes I manage longer without. Not very good at picking up the phone, even to people I know well in my care team.......

[jaxie40]

I'm glad you have such support, sunflower, and it's good that you'll actually use them when you need to. It's good that you communicate on such a level with them too. IN a way I can imagine they feel a bit like extended family

[sunflower]

yes, they do sorry to go on, just want to encourage people that there are good people out there trying to help xx

[jaxie40]

You're not going on at all sunflower, so really no need to apologise