I have BPD, married (separated recently because of my poor mental health, and to try get better), and we have 4 kids. Have been with family therapist for 4 years in September. He has known me the longest out of my care team. I started working with him before I was allocated a care co-ord. He has made such a difference to our family in helping us to understand and manage and relate and all that kind of stuff.
Don't know how to explain this. OK. Briefly. Sometimes, when I need to, we have email contact. Had to email him yesterday about something, and heard back from him today. He will tell me things I need to hear, but he does it in such a way that isn't nasty or judgemental or blaming. He helps me see things from hubby's perspective too. He has a special way about him that tells me he really cares. His response helped calm me down a bit. I replied saying I know I get cross easily with my hubby and I do expect him to be super-human. That family therapist was right, I wouldn't know how to deal with it. I am not half the person my hubby is.
This was his (FT) reply.......
No :-) I think you are as great as he is. You just have different things to deal with right now and all of those things are complicated. I always felt that things go best when you can work better as a team. But I know it is all emotive and difficult right now. I have great admiration for both of you.
How touching is that? It was like an emotional hug. It's so good to know we have him looking out for our family - me, hubby, kids. And at a very difficult time for us (see recent threads), he is able to make the welfare of the children paramount, at the same time, being there for me too. Has always tried to help me separate me from my difficulties. xxxx