Why me?

[aleshadxcherylc]

So glad you have an appointment when you go be as open and as honest with them as possible to get the help and support for yourself .
Dont close yourself off keep talking on this foroum we will be here for you
Katie
xx

[gillmack]

My thumb is sooooo sore, I bite it for ages last night. I am having trouble going to sleep cos I have dreamt about bad SH for the past week. It is scaring me.

[gillmack]

I went to the clinic today and saw a cpn, i am mentally stable and its a work related stress. So happy about that.

[aleshadxcherylc]

So glad you are stable now
xx

[calypso]

Keep going with the help Gillmack. Please ask yourself what you are feeling deep inside when the feeling of SH comes. You may be trying to block something out, so ask what. If it is stress, you can explore looking into things you used to enjoy and you no longer think you have time for. I am so sorry you are having such a rough time, keep writing. xx

[gillmack]

Hiya

At the meeting yesterday, I was told I am mentally stable and my scabs on the arms isnt SHing, just routine scratches. I was also told that due to it being an NHS work stress related problem, they were confused why i was referred to NHS mental health instead of Occupational Health helping me get back into the workplace. I was at Occupational Health and on the report back to my boss is that until the management issues are resloved there is no way i can go back to work. I feel fine as I have been signed off work. Somehow someone i trusted in at work went behind my back and told my bosses about the cuts on my arm so can't trust anyone at the moment.

My friend and I (who has been to everything with me) had a fighting match on saturday night and last night on the phone i hung up on her and my head was saying to tell me to tell her to go away and leave me in my little black hole. My little black hole is where i go when i am not feeling myself and i am in there until i feel like going out thats also when i close myself to the world.

Also last night I had a major barnie with the husband and he threatened to sleep on the sofa instead of sleep with me, my friend had to phone both of us to sort stuff out. I know its not his fault though he is only trying to help in his own way.

Sorry for rambling.

[gillmack]

Aggggghh, thought i was getting better. At the youth group i run, we had a murder mystery last night. It was decided that I would be the one that would be killed off and i assured my friend i would be ok. the plan was i was going to have stab wounds ready made on my arms to show where i put up a fight. i put it on my arms wehre i was told but got scared and had to take it off again. this made my friend think she had annoyed me and pushed me to do it. i thought i could cope doing it as i havent sh for a while although i have had urges to. now i dont feel right and feel as if i am going back down that slope again.

I thought i was better and i know it was just glue and stuff but it frightened the living daylights out of me.

G