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    Thread: please help me understand my bipolar girlfriend

    1. #1

      Default please help me understand my bipolar girlfriend

      2 days ago my girlfirend who has recently been diagnosed with bipolar started questioning everything about herself, whether things were started/maintained/finished by the condition or by herself, one of the things that she started to question was our relationship and this has me concerned

      we started dating in january and she was in a happy frame of mind, not a manic mood but just up in general, we texted constantly and spoke on the phone every evening, we had a good understanding and everything clicked, she had been told by one therapist that she might have bipolar and didnt really want to believe it, then last month she was diagnosed as having the condition and since then for obvious reasons her mood has been low,

      we dont text alot or speak alot anymore and she has kept me hanging on for the past days by seeming so distant, not wanting kisses, and she hasnt said i love you either, even when I say it first, I am confused as to whether or not this is a common thing as we are both experiencing this condition for the first time,

      i try to give my love and support whenever i can but at the same time I desperately want to know if this is a symptom of bipolar - the questioning, or if she genuinely doesnt feel like im right for her, im also aware that it could be the possibilitry of the honeymoon period of the relationship finishing and thats causing the doubts

      could other bipolar sufferers or loved ones shed any light on this situation? and is there anything i can do to help her in this low point?
      Last edited by kronos2121; 09-04-12 at 11:52. Reason: spelling mistake

    2. #2
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      Firstly i think its great that you are trying to understand her illness, I have bp and the first year after being diagnosed is very tough as you are trying too get you own thoughts straight on how this will effect your life..It is a big shock and it takes a while to really understand your own illness so you may just have too be patienet and let her deal with her own feeling before she can deal with your feelings as a couple.. Hope this helps x

    3. #3
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      Bipolar is a serious mental illness and when we are low we tend to isolate ourselves. I wouldn't take it to personally.

    4. #4
      jaxie40
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      Hey kronos2121 and welcome to the forum! Well done for posting too. It's clear you care about your girlfriend and you want the best thing for her, and that you also want answers.

      I don't have bipolar, just depression. From my point of view, when I'm feeling low, I question so much, and have a lot of doubts. My first year with my husband, I questioned myself and him a lot. I think that was because I didn't believe I was good enough for him, and that he'd eventually leave me for someone else. I was testing his love for me. Still, the day before we married (3 1/2 years after we'd got together) I was asking him if he was sure he wanted to marry me.

      Have you tried sitting down and talking to your GF about this, maybe tell her how you feel and reassure her that you're not going anywhere?

      I hope someone with bipolar can answer your questions in a better way

    5. #5

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      its not the isolation that is bothering me angel, its the whole, "i dont know if im only dating you because when we met i was in an up mood" thing, i dont mean to sound like im sitting here down in the dumps because i havent recieved a text, but the isolation coupled with her doubt is really hard to get to grips with

    6. #6

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      Quote Originally Posted by kizzysmad! View Post
      Firstly i think its great that you are trying to understand her illness, I have bp and the first year after being diagnosed is very tough as you are trying too get you own thoughts straight on how this will effect your life..It is a big shock and it takes a while to really understand your own illness so you may just have too be patienet and let her deal with her own feeling before she can deal with your feelings as a couple.. Hope this helps x
      this helps to a degree, would you say that it is a usual thing kizzy and that the lack of contact and also the doubts are a common occurance?

    7. #7
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      Yes most defiantly.. From my own experience if she is in a low state she may be neglecting herself, ie not washing taking care of apperance keeping a tidy home not what you want your bf too see is it really? lol, Also we do doubt other people, its hard too love yourself when blue so too belive someone loves you is also hard to belive, Hass she also started medication? This can leave suffers exhausted and mixed thoughts.. I would give her time, reassurance and try not too doubt yourself you sound like a good man.. and if all else fails she will surely need your friendship if nothing else? x

    8. #8

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      Quote Originally Posted by kizzysmad! View Post
      Yes most defiantly.. From my own experience if she is in a low state she may be neglecting herself, ie not washing taking care of apperance keeping a tidy home not what you want your bf too see is it really? lol, Also we do doubt other people, its hard too love yourself when blue so too belive someone loves you is also hard to belive, Hass she also started medication? This can leave suffers exhausted and mixed thoughts.. I would give her time, reassurance and try not too doubt yourself you sound like a good man.. and if all else fails she will surely need your friendship if nothing else? x
      she has yet to start medication and sometimes when i tell her i love her she says that she doesnt know why and often thanks me for sticking around and being with her, as this is a new experience for me and although nowhere near as tough as what she is going through, i find myself struggling, almost convincing myself that its going to end

      we have had the odd argument, a couple of times its been instigated by her and then ive made it worse by reacting to her bait, something which im now working on trying to stop, the other times its just been a couple disagreeing

      i also ask her how i can improve or help her with this situation as i know it must be extrememly hard to deal with

    9. #9
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      She is probably thinking exactly the same as you as regards to things ending.. How long has she been out of touch for? Have you talked about how you are feeling? x

    10. #10

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      Quote Originally Posted by kizzysmad! View Post
      She is probably thinking exactly the same as you as regards to things ending.. How long has she been out of touch for? Have you talked about how you are feeling? x
      we have the odd text here and there, i last saw her on saturday when this all started and yesterday there was minimal contact, a 5 min phone call and also a few texts. I have talked about how i am feeling, i am unsure how this has been taken though as it seemed to annoy her, possibly because it could come accross like im complaining about something small when shess dealing with something so huge

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