Do I hear voices?

[TheSamantha]

Hi gang,

I have this condition where I have a mental picture someone or a group of people near me and imagine them or hear them in my mind's ear saying extremely mean things. It's not my own self thinking these things. It's seems to come from a different source, someone or some people with different personalities and perspectives than my own. I don't anticipate what they're going to say. I'm often surprised, taken aback, and horrified. I feel humiliated, frustrated, and outraged by their comments. Some of them are people I have known in the past, some of them are famous people I'm familiar with, some of them are complete strangers I've never met.

I was diagnosed with psychosis and put on Risperdal. It didn't help completely so I started drinking. Then I suspected there was nothing wrong with me so I stopped taking it. I ended up in the hospital, fearing for my sanity, unable to concentrate, seeing a daydream before my eyes that I couldn't stop or control. I saw horrible images and heard terrible comments. I thought the whole world was laughing at me. I remember asking a nurse if I looked like an animal, because I was under the impression that I looked like a baboon. I was then put on Halidol, Cogentin, and Prolixin. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Again I started doubting that I had anything wrong with me and stopped taking them. Then it got worse again. I didn't sleep for four or five days. I was panicked, feeling like I was going to go crazy. I didn't shower for weeks. I couldn't stop hearing them all around me, taunting me, abusing me.

I read that voices can be like waking dreams or mental pictures. I know they're not real. But when I get caught up in them I feel emotional pain and often feel compelled to respond to them in my head and ruminate.

I also feel like I hate the world in real life. I hate society and feel that the voices are true reflections of how real people actually operate. I believe they are warnings of what could actually happen. I think my subconscious may be trying to protect me from repeating history in real life by showing me what could happen if I open up to people and trust them.

So does this sound like voices?

Thanks in advance.

[Hattonized]

Hello and welcome. Your story is very moving. It reflects similarities with my own experience. Reading your story made me think how clearly you have been able to explain your situation. Its incredible that you have such clarity about your experience.

It certainly sounds like Hallucinosis. This is something that is not simple to switch off. Respirdal is what Im taking for my voices. For me it does not get rid of the voices completely but the loudness of the voices has diminished over time. Not all 'voice hearers' respond to the same medications the same way. You may have to take respirdal for a period of time before reassessing. I hope this has been helpful.

regards

[TheSamantha]

Thank you for the compliments! I really appreciate it. It helps to realize that I'm understandable.

I'm not sure if it's hallucinosis, as that's the result of alcohol and/or drug addiction. I'm not an alcoholic and I've never done drugs.

I just wanted to know if I was a legitimate voice hearer.

[TheSamantha]

Anyone else care to weigh in? I am a voice hearer?

Thanks in advance!

[askjesustohelpyou]

Dear TheSamantha, I believe Satan is playing tricks on you. Please check out my thread Hearing Voices are satan's angels. Please ask Jesus to help you! It's under Hearing Voices then religious explainations. You can also check out my blog http://hearing-voices-are-angels.blogspot.com/ I am a definite voice hearer, but I hope you will learn some useful information.

[TheSamantha]

Why do you think Satan is playing tricks on me?

And am I a legitimate voice hearer??

[sandies]

we are not medical professionals so.its hard to say.yes or no to u.
but u say these voices say things to u wen u not expecting it.
i have my opinions on wat i think but like i said im no dr
i only have my own experience

if u really want a dx and are concerned see your dr or psych

do u see a therapist at all ?

[TheSamantha]

Thank you. I have talked to my nurse and she insists i have schizophrenia. it's just hard to believe because I imagined it was so much more dramatic than that, like actually hearing a voice in your head or actually seeing someone standing in front of you who's not there. Yes I have a therapist who says the same thing as the nurse. I have this fear that I'm gonna be accused of making it up and be subjected to a polygraph where I'll be asked if I hear voices and it'll turn out I'm lying. I guess psychology is not an exact science so I'll just take their word for it and assume I have paranoid schizophrenia rather than pure O?

[sandies]

dint worry ive kept mine to myself all my life in my 40s now cos i thought no one wud believe me.
i still struggle with wonderung if im making it up so talking can be hard
for me
good luck xx

[askjesustohelpyou]

Dear TheSamanta, From your description it sounds like you hear voices. Only you can know for sure. If you hear voices all around you, that is it. Please do not believe their insults. Do not allow them to turn you to hate. That is what the voices want. You have to resist hating. Hate will lead you to do things you should not do. You are a worthwhile human being and you should not place importance on their insults. Please check out my blog. I believe that the voices we hear are Satan's angels tormenting us. I asked God to help me on many occasions of my journey as a voice hearer and it has made all the difference for me.