recovery - getting your life back - what life?

[anonymous1]

I never had much of a life. I'm starting from scratch in my forties. All I can see is problems. My parents got off to a good start with wrecking my life and then the drugs I was prescribed have almost finished me off. Yes I know there are always people worse off - it doesn't help thinking about that.

[Calisa]

Some times thinking about it does make it seem worse, why not set small goals for yourself? some thing to aim for?

Most areas have adult learning, you can get some free ones choose one that could be a hobbie or give yourself 1 goal a fortnight?

Hope this helps a little

hugs

[molly123]

anonymous1

exactly - getting your life back - what life?

I'm 53 and been going to the dr.s for over 30 years with depression.

I've got OCD and a host of other problems.

The only thing i found out by chance - i was never told was that i have an Unspecified Personality Disorder. Wtf!

Think that is a cop out so they don't have to bother with me, they never have so end of i'm stuck with no life, no job, £60 a week, no nothing and expected to look for work, not worked in over 10 years and 53. Fat Chance.

Been put in Work Related Activity Group, help.....

[indelible]

I hate to do this, but at the ripe old age of 23 I feel I'm a font of positive wisdom!

You're entirely right that other people have it worse than you. You're also entirely right that it doesn't matter. YOUR problems are yours; you aren't faced with other people's problems (unless they force them on you, of course). Pay no attention to biggots that tell you such things as if they should have any bearing on how YOU deal with YOUR problems.

[Unigrwydd]

I often feel like this at the age of 27, whilst i may feel like i have plenty of time yet but it's not as simple as picking up where you left off. Every individual is different and have a variety of problems some more worse than others.

Not sure if it's any help, but I found that having some structure, a pattern is good and is normal. My days are very much the same where i end up doing nothing, but i am slowly beginning to structure them, so i know what's coming up, what i have to do and plan things that i may enjoy doing (which at the moment is very little) but the effort is what counts.

Recovering how you were previously is something not a lot would be able to do (i would imagine), we just try and make do and repair it to the best we can. Finding structure and something pre-exisiting that will take you away from the negative thinking (easier said than done, i know) but it's probably the best way to start making the changes necessary to help you.

Hope this has helped in some way

[Sugarplum]

I often feel like this at the age of 27, whilst i may feel like i have plenty of time yet but it's not as simple as picking up where you left off. Every individual is different and have a variety of problems some more worse than others.

Not sure if it's any help, but I found that having some structure, a pattern is good and is normal. My days are very much the same where i end up doing nothing, but i am slowly beginning to structure them, so i know what's coming up, what i have to do and plan things that i may enjoy doing (which at the moment is very little) but the effort is what counts.

Recovering how you were previously is something not a lot would be able to do (i would imagine), we just try and make do and repair it to the best we can. Finding structure and something pre-exisiting that will take you away from the negative thinking (easier said than done, i know) but it's probably the best way to start making the changes necessary to help you.

Hope this has helped in some way

Thanks for your comments Unigrwydd.

I'm really glad that you have found a way forward that works for you.

I just find that to implement structure you tend to need support of various kinds. A lot of activities are geared to younger people (for example many volunteering posts - check if you don't believe me.) This is just one example - I could go on and on.

It's also difficult when you have tried and failed a multitude of times. It knocks your confidence.

Well done on getting some structure into your life and beginning to move on.


SP

[Unigrwydd]

Thanks for your comments Unigrwydd.

I'm really glad that you have found a way forward that works for you.

I just find that to implement structure you tend to need support of various kinds. A lot of activities are geared to younger people (for example many volunteering posts - check if you don't believe me.) This is just one example - I could go on and on.

It's also difficult when you have tried and failed a multitude of times. It knocks your confidence.

Well done on getting some structure into your life and beginning to move on.


SP

Thanks for the reply (even thought it's not my post, sorry), I wouldn't say that I've started as such but through CBT I've found that it's what's needed (for me anyway) but may not work for everyone as were all different (you tend to go with what you know and experienced) which is why i thought i'd suggest. I'm still trying to make sense of what I need to do and hoping that something will come of it.

I'm not really offered any support, family aren't overly interested, doctors seem to just want to give you medication and as for friends well i don't really have any but i just don't like the thought of it consuming me and being lonely.

I hadn't considered volunteering as something to do, i suppose it would be because it would mean me interacting (not overly keen) but it's something to definitely think about - thank you ... hopefully i'll be able to start developing some sort of structure as i mentioned, you "gotta try" i suppose.

Unigrwydd

[anonymous1]

anonymous1

exactly - getting your life back - what life?

I'm 53 and been going to the dr.s for over 30 years with depression.

I've got OCD and a host of other problems.

The only thing i found out by chance - i was never told was that i have an Unspecified Personality Disorder. Wtf!

Think that is a cop out so they don't have to bother with me, they never have so end of i'm stuck with no life, no job, £60 a week, no nothing and expected to look for work, not worked in over 10 years and 53. Fat Chance.

Been put in Work Related Activity Group, help.....

Sorry to hear that you've been put in WRAG when you don't feel ready .... to be honest that's what I'm really worried about. I agree with the personality disorder diagnosis thing - i think they may leave people who have it as some people still think its untreatable and view it negatively. Hope that you do manage to find something or are able to appeal.

[scott the person]

hi i hate it when someone says to you when you are feeling so low and struggling to cope with your issues in life and they say "theres always someone worse off than you" really annoys me when i hear this as yes obviously other people have troubles and going through a lot but by saying this to someone you are really saying that their issues are not really that bad. its usually followed up with examples like people are starving in the world or have lost limbs etc. yes all these things are horrible and i wish these other people never had any suffering in their lives but i am me i count also and although someone else might see my issues as enough to feel this low its having a major impact on my life. different things effect different people some more than others at different stages of life, your issues are just as important than anyones and even more to you as its you thats going through them.

one thing id like to say to you i feel for you its obvious lifes not been to kind from an early age it sounds to me your letting whatever happened with your parents control your life. we all get effected by other peoples actions but its up to you how much you let those other peoples actions effect you and how much this controls the way you think and live your life. we cant stop others doing whatever they do be it good or bad things that effects you but we are the ones in control of ourselves nobody else can control you they can have an effect on you but its if you let this control you it will try taking back that control my friend easier said than done i know but you have the power to stop things in the past controlling you. you can do it you just need to start believing you can ok.

is there not a saying life begins at 40 so please dont think you have no time left to get a life. hopefully the next chapter in your life is where you take control and start living life for yourself. good luck hope things work out for you

[anonymous1]

one thing id like to say to you i feel for you its obvious lifes not been to kind from an early age it sounds to me your letting whatever happened with your parents control your life.

Thanks for your reply. You're right - it might sound stupid but up till just now I haven't known how to move on. However, the other day I actually lied to my parents because I did not want to see them and was very stressed at the thought of seeing them. I told them that I was physically unwell. This must be the first time I've lied to them since I can remember - I have always been very open with them in one way, but usually wearing a mask to hide my true feelings in another since it has seemed so pointless talking with them about issues where I feel that they have really let me down because they won't change or sometimes even acknowledge things. After I lied, I did actually feel a sense of release and I think that this may be the way forward. I have always believed that lying is wrong, so this is a new thing, but when I did things felt better and easier because I successfully avoided having to see them. Maybe in time I will just be able to be direct with them, but at the moment I don't think I could handle the fallout and stress.