Do I want my old life back?or is it the reason I've ended up where I am?
I've always had bouts of depression,but nothing I couldn't cope with.The anxiety recently has been what has has been far more upsetting an intense ,had my old life always been building toward this?Do I have to change everything to carry on??!Will medication help me?Cant cope with the ball of anxiety that runs through my arms and in my chest all day
I would like more than anything to start liking things again,absolutely nothing interests me anymore at all,tv i used to watch ,sports,anything it's makin me feel like things will alway be like this
Who knows what causes anxiety / depression / mental health problems? You could say that your entire life has been building towards this, or you could say that for whatever reason, something has happened which has now tipped you over into a bad place. That 'something' which tips us over is different for everyone. For some people it's something massive, for some people it's something little. Either way, if its affecting you, then its affecting you and it's big for you.
I guess, if ways of behaving or being that we've learnt as kids, as ways of keeping ourselves 'safe' or secure - if they're no longer working then they can lead us to be anxious or depressed or whatever. Thats been my experience anyway. Things that i 'learnt' to do as a kid, to keep myself safe emotionally, and which were necessary when i was little, and worked when i was little, don't really work now, hence i ended up with depression. Change is about understanding how i behave / react, and why, and how i could do things differently in the future so that i don't end up with depression again.
On top of that, i also kinda learnt what i value and what makes me happy, or makes me tick, so i do live my life slightly differently now so that there's less stress in it, which is likely to tip me over again.
It wont always be like this - there are probably reasons why you're feeling anxious, and if you can understand those, you can do something about it.
Medication - well that's up to you really. Have you talked to your gp at all about any of this?
I appreaciate the time put in to that answer ,I'm not sure of the exact route cause of the problem as you said ,but feel for the last 3months solid it hasn't gotten any better,in fact only worse my confusion is becoming a permanent thing.Lost who I am,my gp referred me to a councillor,but I've already spoken to several specialist who havnt really helped, I feel I'm gettin physically weaker by the day and fear sleeping because I can't ,I'm not sure what this situation is building toward and that worries me !!
I'm just not sure if this is for me anymore ,I'm not even sure what I mean by that,but waking up sweating in the middle of the night,every night!!no clarity any more what's the point,it may get better,but what if it gets worse?!
Maybe you can move your attention to some interesting thing. Or joint some activities.