Yesterday I had a sudden impulsive thought to kill myself, I started to search online successful ways to kill myself, watched videos on how to kill myself successfully, looked to see if I could buy a suicide kit from anywhere and I also found places to buy things from that will help me. I have not yet bought anything but I know I will because I really do not want to live right now. I did not have access to the things I needed so instead I decided to harm myself which resulted in stitches. My CPN was told and he told me I have to go and see him this week. If I tell him all this will he be able to help me? All I want to do is die, I'm not even joking, the pain is too much and so are the thoughts. I know its only a matter of time before I buy these things and do it and sometimes that scares me but it is what I want more than anything. As much as I want to die I want the help. My CPN never really seems like he knows what to do to help me. I tell him things, he writes them down and thats it. If I tell him how serious I am about doing this and tell him of my plan to buy these things will he be able to help these thoughts stop? I just want everything to stop. Thank you.