Three months in

[tallynats]

Thank you. I hope you're ok too.

[tallynats]

Thought I'd give you an update. Currently under the home treatment team who are visiting daily. They've given me medication for 'short term use' until I see a doctor with them sometime next week. They've told me to try and keep busy until then and take things an hour at a time.

They don't seem to understand that this thing in my shoulder is putting me and my family at risk while it's still there. They keep saying to wait to see a doctor and talk to them about it but I've seen three since Wednesday and none of them have helped me get it out. Im trying to be patient but I can't keep putting my family in danger. Sooner or later I'll have to try and get it out by myself again or get as far away from my family as I can.

Wanted to thank you guys for your advice anyway. Thank you.

[tallynats]

Hi tally, I also think it might be best to find some support as fast as possible. I wish I had better advice for you. What exactly makes you so sure they are capable of killing you? Have they given you any evidence they are capable of doing so? Do your best to detach yourself from the situation, kinda like being an observer of your emotional reactions to the voices. If possible engage in some deep breathing activities to calm down. Listen to a lot of music to distract yourself.

I have dealt with similar situations where the voices threatened to kill me, even experienced a scary situation where the voices sent me into convulsions and possessed my body. But no matter how elaborate and convincing their scare tactics are, 9 times out of 10, they are full of shit. They can't kill us for real, so they convince us to live in a state of terror everyday. Remember, no matter what they tell you, they are liars. You have more power than you think you do. That's exactly what voices are good at is disempowering us. Please don't give up.

BTW, what is this tracking device you speak of? Given that such a thing is possible, who are these trackers and why exactly would they want to track you?

http://www.brickhousesecurity.com/implant-gpstracking.html Thats the tracker. I don't know who these people are, just they are watching me, following me. I don't know why they want to hurt me, maybe because I know about juxtaposition. About the simion predictions. Maybe because I can steer people to light rather than them staying on the course society has led them to?

[tallynats]

Finding it very hard to keep having strangers in my house. Don't want to take tablets to "make me calm" how do I know that's what they're for? Anyone can print a label or a leaflet... That doesn't mean that's what's actually in them does it? Frustrated that everytime I ask about getting the tracker out I get told to wait to see a doctor. I've seen three already and they just tell me to keep calm, keep busy. They don't understand te danger this is putting me and my family in.

I'm taking a big risk and Im going to write a letter explaining Everything. Then whoever comes tomorrow can have the full story. Maybe then they'll help keep my family safe.

[teumuhuri]

Finding it very hard to keep having strangers in my house. Don't want to take tablets to "make me calm" how do I know that's what they're for? Anyone can print a label or a leaflet... That doesn't mean that's what's actually in them does it? Frustrated that everytime I ask about getting the tracker out I get told to wait to see a doctor. I've seen three already and they just tell me to keep calm, keep busy. They don't understand te danger this is putting me and my family in.

I'm taking a big risk and Im going to write a letter explaining Everything. Then whoever comes tomorrow can have the full story. Maybe then they'll help keep my family safe.

Hello i have been reading your posts. Im sorry that youre having a difficult time right now. It is a slow process getting back to normalcy. Right now youre in a hyperstate. Things just cant happen fast enough. Please be assured that the psychiatrist will see you soon. Please dont harm yourself worrying about the tracker. The three doctors youve seen so far are not qualified enough to help you. The medication takes a while to build up in your system before it starts to work.
Please take care and try to be patient. Keep posting here will help pass the time until the psychiatrist sees you.
Writing a letter will help them understand thats a good idea.

[tallynats]

Saw the doctor this afternoon. Gave her a letter explaining everything and she seems to think there's a problem with dopamine levels in my brain. I asked about the tracker and she seems to think new tablets will stop me feeling it.... But that will mean it's still in there. We'll still be in danger. I don't know what to do.

She's coming back tomorrow morning to ask me more stuff and bring me tablets.

Can't help but feel like a fool for writing a letter and taking such a risk just to end up where i was before. In danger. Something's got to give sooner or later

[Pippin49]

Hi Tallynats

we haven't spoken before ( I think !) but its interesting that your dr is talking about dopamine. what about your seratonin levels? I thought the 2 of them have to be in balance and everyone is slightly different so juggling them is tricky.

It sounds like you're in a tough place at the moment. do you know which tablets she is going to bring you??

I don't think writing a leter is foolish. sometimes its difficult to say what is going on in your head clearly and writing it down helps.

I hope this forum is a useful pressure valve for you.

keep posting.

all the best

Pip xxx

[tallynats]

I don't think she said about seratonin. But its hard for me to follow a whole conversation. Erm she wrote the medication shes bringing for me down... Olanzapine.

And already have clonazepan they want me to take four times a day.

Just feel like i reached out in the hopes I could trust someone only to find they want to keep the tracker in.

[Pippin49]

Hiya,

I've had a look at Olanzapine online, zyprexa or symbyax are the brand names. (Symbyax has fluoxitine in it (prosac)) this drug is similar to clozapine . so it shouldn't be too upsetting for your system. I'm not a dr and I haven't tried this particular drug. I hope it makes a difference to you and your welbeing so that you can work towards getting the tracker removed.

trust is such an important thing and it hurts so much when you feel betrayed because the person trusted throws it back in your face. I'm so sorry you feel like this. My councillor was made redundant and even though he promised to email me , he never has. I though I could trust him. apparently not.

Hang on in there , Tallynats, I'm cheering you on .

All the best

Pip xxx

[tallynats]

Thank you. And Im sorry your councillor let you down x