im new here

[SuzeeJ]

hi kellydiane, how are you going?
you sound a lot like me so i know how you feel when you are a social person who ends up with these types of fears. I think that it doesnt matter much what caused it but just to focus on solutions and taking small steps. A counsellor will really help you to do this. I know it is really really hard to do but try to find some things to distract your thoughts like reading or drawing etc because believe me obsessing over the problem and thinking about it all the time doesnt help!! I made that mistake!! I am now improving I still feel anxious a lot but I am not letting it stop me from doing some things. All the very best too you

[kellydiane]

sorry its taken me so long to get back to you all. thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. well since last being here i have been seeing a lovely councillor who i can talk to very comfortably. i have ventured out to the shops with my partner and though its been hard ive persivered. i am starting to understand things a lot more and know that im not going mad which for some time i had thought. though things are not back to normal i do now feel that i am making major steps. once again many thanks to you all and please know i am here if anyone needs a chat xxxx

[aleshadxcherylc]

Hi kellydiane
Welcome back to the foroum
so glad you have a good counseller you can talk too.
Well done for persivering keep like this and you will get stronger
Well done!
We are all here for you too
Take care keep strong and keep talking
Katie
xx

[kellydiane]

Thanks Katie. Things are a lot clearer and though i know its gonna take me some time to get back to my normal self i am pleased with my progress. i wish everyone had my councillor she is amazing and nothing is rushed . i feel very lucky to have such support as i know a lot of people dont. i am giving myself atleast 6months to get through this and i can see the way things are going i can do this .
I would like to thank you so much for your support and to let you know im here if anyone needs me .
Diane xxx

[kellydiane]

Hi suzee. thank you for your kind words and support. i have now been seeing an excellent councillor and i am pleased to say that though i know its going to take time i am on that road. i am giving myself 6 months to reach my goal . know i am here for you if ever you need a chat. thanks for caring
Diane xx

[kellydiane]

talk about kicking someone at their lowest. i in total tatters just found out that while ive been trying to get through my problem my husband has been seeing another woman. im totally devastated.one step forward 20 steps back omg im totally devastated. the one person i expected to see me through this has been making me feel like i going mad saying things then telling me he didnt . no wonder he wasnt bothered about me being stuck in house all time. well hes gone now and now i have to start all over again.. really dont know what the hell ive done to deserve all this. omg how could he

[aleshadxcherylc]

Hi there
So sorry whats happened that is awful and horrible what he has done to you please dont let him ruin all the good progress you have made so far. he is not worth any of that or your time
sorry i cant advise you but we will be here to listen and support you
xx

[kellydiane]

I dont really know if ive made the right choice or not, ive allowed him back into the home and he has told me he is sorry and he would like me to give him another chance. i love him so much but can love alone be enough, hes hurt me more than anyone could have and now i have this to deal with along with the rest of it,
I thought i was doing really well considering everything and i was making the steps i wanted to make not as fast as id have liked but i was making them none the less.
now i just wanna go to sleep and be at peace, ive told him this and he says dont say that but its just how i feel, i feel ugly, alone,and totally deflated. my mind is all over the place and all i can see is the texts he was sending the other woman. along with all that i want to draw the curtains and keep everyone out . im not a bad person . ive got problems and i doing everything i can to sort them, but its not easy and when people you love can treat you like this who can ya trust. i cant trust anyone anymore
im sorry im twittering on but if i dont get it out i gonna scream.
I hide how i feel most of the time and try to be as normal as possible , still doing all i should for my family (well almost everything)...even though most of the time i wanna curl up in a ball. nobody helps with anything and thats difficult cause sometimes i have no energy to do anything but rather than moan about it i will crawl about on my hands and knees just so things are done. oh my god i just dont understand anything anymore why is all this happening at once.. i always been very independant and strong, happy go lucky and never let anything or anyone get me down, i was the person who was always there for whoever needed me and my support , but how can i help anyone if i can no longer help myself ... i really dont know .
well ive twittered enough and my head swirling so i gonna shut up and leave you lovely people in peace ..xxx

[kellydiane]

thanks so much hunni x

[kellydiane]

Well today has been a day from hell, Im so annoyed at myself for letting things get me down so much, not been able to face going downstairs with my dogs cause i cant cope bumping into people. i feel terribly lonely and confused.
I also found out today how much stress my family are going through and that makes me feel so much worse. ive tried to explain that i am trying to deal with it but they dont know i feel or how much this whole thing is affecting me, i feel like a prisoner in my own home .
omg i just wish i could get over this and be normal again .