Im feeling very confused today.
Last night I was talking to the bloke I like and things are ok but I still want commitment, I think that is to do with my low self esteem? Not sure. Nothing would change but I would know where I stood with things which is important to me. Maybe I should be stronger. Or if he doesnt want to commit at the moment should I forget it? No idea, just confused. I like being with him and he is like my best friend.
On fridays I have counselling and aromatherapy massage - not through my GP but through a charity I self referred to. I couldnt face it so phoned them and left a message saying I was sick, I hate lying but then I guess I am sick? Because I am depressed? Just didnt want to get ready and get there and just really not feeling like it today.
Im on a late shift at work but then I can get some tidying in the house done and try to feel better.
I have been so good on my diet and had nothing bad but got on the scales this morning and was exactly the same hideous weight!! then tried again and had lost 1lb then lost 2lb and now back to same again! they are good digital ones so are accurate but so annoyed as I have tried so so hard this week. Have a bridesmaid dress fitting next week and dreading it, I used to be nice and slim and just terrified of how i will look.
My mind is running away with me and my feelings change on at least an hourly basis - just dont understand why.
Need to not drink this weekend too as last weekend wine made me feel worse which i know it will it is a destress thing.
I hope everyone is okay