question about ptsd.
i was diagonised with GAD when i was 15.
then i had a psy-eval done when i was 19 and he thought i had PTSD. i know why he thought that but i don't think so.
i was raped when i was 16, and i told him this.
he asked if i have nightmares, and i said yes.
he asked what about, and usually there about being raped or harmed. someone is always trying to hurt me.
he put the two together and came up with ptsd.
i don't see how though. maybe i didn't clarify enough.
see, i've had bad nightmares since i was little. way before the rape.
i've also had alot of other bad experiences with males but i've talked about all of them opening. when i think about them, i feel unclean and guilty but i don't think about them all the time or anything. i don't have vivid flashbacks or anything. so how does it all fit? how is that ptsd?
also, before any of my bad experiences (that i'm aware of) with men, i was leery of them. especially older males. and strangly, i don't remember alot of my childhood. it's like pieces are missing. there is one point where i don't remember my sister being around at all. it's like she disapeared or something. my father will tell stories and i have no idea what he is talking about. could i be repressing something or could just be a bad memory??
is it ptsd or gad? it doesn't really matter, i guess. i'm just curious.
Not everyone with PTSD has flashbacks - this link is extremely good.
No one remembers everything about their childhood - I have memories my sister doesn't have and vice versa.
i think it is ptsd, my sister and i have different memories, just like the Super Moderator Dollit.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD, and i hear what you say about forgetting things. Personally i tick all the diagnositc boxes as far as PTSD goes i have the full compliment of symptoms.
What has recently began to interest me is that i can recognise some of the PTSD syptoms from before the event which caused my PTSD to develop. I was bullied as a child and was very depressed and anxious about going to school, and as a result i often felt detatched from reality and i think this was my brains attempt at distancing itself from seomthing which was stressing it out.
I just wonder if some of us are mentally pre disposed to suffering with PTSD and all we need is an event to trigger us?
As far as memories go, there are massive chucks of my childhood which are missing, however speaking with my sister i can remeber things which she cant and vice versa. I guess when we are suffering mentally there is, for me anyway, sometimes a impulse to look for reasons why i cant remember things and put it down to PTSD.
The site posted in the link above is an excellent referance for PTSD i think.
I read somewhere that traumas that happen later in life can be more traumatic if there was a trauma in childhood. Hmmm too many traumas in that sentence.
It's ok to have repressed memories I wouldn't worry about that. It might help if you find a way to feel safe now around men - take kickboxing, self defence classes, do weights. Stay wary, it's healthy because it is exactly what life has taught you. You can only trust someone that has proven to you that they won't hurt you, yeah? Follow all the usual advice - don't walk by yourself at night (or during the day if you like), go with someone to a public toilet, etc. etc. Start to feel safer while your awake and maybe your rem sleep will follow.
I also read somewhere that if something awful happens it can bring up your own issues that were already there - so it's not the trauma that caused them, that was just the trigger. I take that to mean you can get strong and happy without it being a reaction to something horrible, it is more about going along on your own journey. Best wishes.