I am one of those people that get really grossed out all about Vomit. Be somebody barfing in front of me, a story, a stomach virus, ANYTHING that happens anywhere or especially in school freaks the crap out of me. Like horrible.
About 2 years ago, there was this kid in my class that always got sick. Well, sometimes he would need to go to the nurse or throw up outside or anything. Everytime it would happen, I would get FREAKED. It just grosses me out, ok. I would shiver and get nervous and pray to god to just get me about 100 miles away from this guy.
Well, eventually, I started not eating. I had NO appetite for food whatsoever. I feared I would puke or get sick by just eating. It was just breakfest. At lunch, in school, I ate. Eventually my parents took me to the doctor and I tried to explain what I was going through. Basically, I would eat, and get nausous and feel sick. I NEVER EVER got sick. Just nausa or however you spell it. I don't know how to burp, so the acid bubbles in my stomach would rise and I would feel the taste in my mouth of food, which got me scared and I refused to eat because of this.
The doctor got me some pills and it all went away. My dad always thought it was all in my head, but now I think it is too. But IDK what to do, because it's back.This time it's worse.
I am going to a new school, so it's just a little nervous for me for the first few days. But I ate normally. After a few days, sometimes I would eat and feel a tingling in my right hand, in the space between my index finger and thumb. That skin would tingle and sometimes hurt. Then I would get nervous, and shake and it would be hard to talk. Then I would feel nausous, and just not eat.
I completely convinced myself to eat NOTHING at school, and I haven't. I tell my mom I am eating breakfest in school, but I'm not. There is a snack time, and I'm hungry. I keep thinking what will happen after I eat, so I don't eat. 2 hours later, it's lunch and I am not eating for the entire time. It's torture! Then 2 hours and I'm home, and strangely, I eat normal there.
When I had this 2 years ago, I came up with a mental way to control myself. I am rarely religious, but when I need some hope from somebody I can trust, it's god. I started keeping a journal and writing about my day, being thankful I'm healthy and not sick. Then I would pray everynight for this good day and to make another one.
It sorta made me feel "I prayed to god, he is helping me, he won't let this happen to me." It helped and soon I got over it. But this time I have some sort of HORRIBLE luck lately. I was in the car and I saw a kid puke. EWW? Then a week later I saw another kid puke, ewwwwww.. then a horse? WTF!? What kind of torture is this I didn't want to see that.
PLEASE help me, Idk what's happening to me everytime I eat I think about this. Don't laugh, I need help but I'm in a new place and I don't want to worry my mom. PLEASE help me! Is there any way I can get rid of this stupid stomach thing and mental suffering. Someitmes at home I wish I was dead, I'm serious. HELP.
I am really afraid to eat, and also I am normal and NEVER had ANY consciousness with my body or weight.