My wife has no ambition to better herself nor any motivation to progress beyond her current state and I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm firmly convinced that if I went to sleep for 20 years and awakened, I'd find her in the same level of progress she's at currently with no change. I'm not sure if it's depression, anxiety, or what. She seems to require hand-holding for virtually anything she doesn't already know how to do. Here are some things:
1. Any possible job/career suggestion is met with one of the following: "I'm not smart enough," "I'm not talented enough," "I'm not creative enough," "I don't know how to do that," etc. Pointing out past successes or a proclivity toward some job/career is typically met with self-deprecation or minimizing of the accomplishment. When told she's good with numbers, will minimize it with "All I do is balance the checkbook or do the budget." When told she must be smart because she graduated college, she responds with "I never studied." It almost seems as though she wants to be thought of as unintelligent or non-talented for no reason I can fathom.
2. "I don't know" seems to be one of her most common answers to any question posed to her about what she wants to do with her life or when a question is posed to her about what she would do if such-and-such event happened, e.g., "What if I kicked the bucket tomorrow and you had to go out and get a job. What would you do?" Answer: "I don't know."
Trouble is, her "I don't know" answers seem to be a terminal answer for her. It doesn't motivate her to seek out the answer that she lacks. It seems to be an end-point to her action. When she doesn't know something or know how to do something, her response appears to be to "do nothing."
3. Tends to let opportunities pass until it's too late to do anything about them, even if given advance notice of the opportunity.
4. Has a low self-esteem, yet resists efforts by others to boost it. Strangely, will respond with anger if a third-party implies she's stupid, yet will make the same remarks about herself.
So, I'm not sure what to do. I want to help her break out of this dead-end mentality she's acquired, but not sure how. Will some sort of medication reignite the ambition or motivation?