Hatred never ceases by hatred?

[oneday]

[cfb107]

Puts me in mind of Matthew 22:36-40:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

[oneday]

This is said to be an old Cherokee story.

~ The Two Wolves ~

One evening an old Cherokee grandfather was sitting with his grandson. He sensed that something was troubling the young man and asked, “My son, I see anger in your eyes - What is troubling you?”

The young man told the grandfather of his anger at a friend who had done him an injustice.

“Let me tell you a story”, said the old man.

“I too, at times, have felt a great hate towards those who I feel have done me wrong.”

“But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.

“I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if two wolves are living inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and doesn't take offence when no offence was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

“But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. Even the smallest thing will send him into a fit of rage. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his pain and fears are so great. And it is helpless anger, because this anger will change nothing.

“Sometimes it has been hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them have tried to dominate my spirit and are always struggling against each other.”

The young man looked intently into his grandfather's eyes and asked, “So which wolf will win, Grandfather?” although, in his grandfather’s case, he guessed he knew which one.

The old man smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed”.

[cfb107]

I love this story!!!! Of all places, I heard it on 'Being Human' (BBC3 show about vampires/werewolves), and I always quote it to everyone! Thanks for sharing

[oneday]

"Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

- Aristotle

[unwell]

Would love to hear your take on passive aggression.

[Losing The Plot]

Hatred is very powerful and all consuming. I didn;t hate my dad for what he did to me, in fact I loved the very man who hurt me so much. I couldn't hate him - I never had the chance to legally challenge him, so what was I left with -I had to learn to love again.

KS

But KS it is ok to love him and at the same time to still hate what he did, to hate his behaviour. My hatred is as valid as my love. I am entitled to feel this way. This for me is healthy. That's just how I feel Hun.

[oneday]

Would love to hear your take on passive aggression.

What are you wondering about re passive aggression exactly, unwell? Maybe say more? I don’t think I’m informed enough to have a particular take on it. This from Wiki is a bit of an introduction: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive...ssive_behavior

Interesting, though. You’ve got me thinking. Relating to a couple of things in the Wiki piece: I wonder if I’m sugarcoating my angry and frightened feelings here, with nice quotes and so on, because I have difficulties being assertive generally and elsewhere, probably from having grown up in a family where honest expression of anger was met with violent punishment.

I also relate to the notion of my using ambiguity or speaking cryptically as an (unconscious) means of creating a sense of unsettlement in others whose aggression around me I find disturbing and frightening.

[rasselas]

[...]I wonder if I’m sugarcoating my angry and frightened feelings here, with nice quotes and so on, because I have difficulties being assertive generally and elsewhere, probably from having grown up in a family where honest expression of anger was met with violent punishment.

Online we create personas. Maybe you needed the 'oneday' persona to reflect back the things about yourself you most admire and value or aspire to; can't see the harm in that. Your buddhism thread is a classic!

[unwell]

Thanks for being so candid.

I didn't know that there is such a thing as a passive aggressive disorder. That sounds like something out of the book Catch-22. It definitely wasn't an attempt at diagnosis especially with that.

I was refering to less clinical behaviours that everybody engages in, even those who have acheived self-actualisation. This thread did come across a tad passive aggressive which seemed ironic given it's intended aim. Now you've explained it makes more sense.