Mentally lacking...

[Mrmagic]

Hi, today i'd like to try talk about something I havent tackled before, I'm feeling okay today so lets see how it goes...

I look upon where I am in life in my early twenties; just about to finish university next summer, it leads me to wonder what next. I didn't have any miracles happen here, ever since my depression hit me I have dont next to nothing. I have not made any contacts or plans for after uni, I'll probaly just head back tomy mothers house with her new family... The thought makes me nauseous. I am currently here for chirstmas and I just feel very restricted.

Moving on track, I feel essentially immature for my age, not mentally, I have a very mature taste in my selection of media. But I guess I just still feel like a boy. I try avoid contact with banks whenever I can. I am afraid of driving so I never learned. I am at university essentially to avoid getting a job, I had one back at college during the weekends as a clerk, it felt degrading and it destroyed my self-esteem.

I have always felt this sense of lacking, at school I was in lowwer sets in class. Whilst I would hang around with people who where in the top sets, It leaves me feeling inferior to others. I just think of how someone my age should be and I feel I am not quite there, just like at school. I don't know where to go with this, but then I guess as it is a problem I don't have the answer...

[bert tomato]

Hey MrMagic.. You know... I thought you were a girl...

BTW there a lots of people unemployed...so dont feel too bad...

Life can be hard and cold, but it can be fun and casual. Try to follow your own dreams not other peoples!

[pumpkin]

Hi MrMagic,
i'm sorry i didn't see your post earlier. What you are describing is exactly how i feel, too. I'm 26, haven't finished my degree yet and i don't work yet either (i have to graduate first, otherwise there's little chance of me getting a decent job). I'm married and i think i'm very mature for my age, i just have this fear of the "outside world", the fear of driving is a very big part of this as it's stopping me from being fully independent. I do have the driver's licence, i'm just so scared of driving alone, that i would react in the wrong way and cause an accident or something...
Anyway i wish i could offer some great advice, but unfortunately i think the only way to overcome these fears is to do things that you're afraid of and overcome your fears one by one by repeating... Like the only way to overcome fear of driving is to drive as often as you can, repeat repeat and then you get used to it... hopefully.
Wishing you all the best,
pumpkin

[Foxjo]

Hi Mr Magic, its natural to be scared of the unknown.
I left university (many years ago) and i had no idea what i was going to do with my life.
I dont think thats a bad thing - unless you dwel on it too much.
There are people in life that know what they want to do with their life (doctors/lawyers/teachers/dentists etc) and go for it!
then there are the rest of us that wished we knew but dont or cant.
Try not to beat yourself up over it.
As for leaving uni, i only now (after ten yrs) keep in touch with one person who i was friends with. the rest are just on facebook (which isnt real life!! )
The outside world is scary but dont be too hard on yourself, take one step at a time.
Pumpkin is right, part of overcoming fears is by doing it, one step at a time.
Good luck, keep in touch x