How long has your social anxiety been affecting you?

[Esmin]

Hi

I really worry sometimes about how long my issue of people has been going on I mean im 30 now and im still pretty much the same as when i was a teenager, i mean im scared in almost all social situations to the point I will avoid them if possible and if i dont avoid them its only because im worrying that i will upset the other person and they wont want to see me again.
Certain people seem to make me more anxious than others i dont know if its there personality or what? I mean one of my family members partner I feel really uncomfortable around her and it doesnt matter how much i see her i just feel panicky and cant listen to what they are saying just wishing the time would fly by so i can be on my own again. I'm lonely most of the time because i just feel excruciatingly uncomfortable around most people including my family.

I'm not house bound but only really go out either with someone or if i have somewhere to go, i find it difficult to just say go out for a walk because i dont have a goal as to where im going i feel more anxious.

Could anyone tell me how long they have experienced there social anxiety or agrophobia or both for and to what degrees?

Thanks for reading

[calypso]

Hiya Esmin

I don't suffer from this most of the time, but wanted to say how much I feel for you on this. Have you ever tried CBT? As a therapy, it is not suitable for everyone or all conditions, but it can be very good at tackling this kind of problem by challenging the underlying beliefs and fears and setting goals. The goals are very small at first, but can increase as you gain confidence.

[Mr. Jones]

Hi

I really worry sometimes about how long my issue of people has been going on I mean im 30 now and im still pretty much the same as when i was a teenager, i mean im scared in almost all social situations to the point I will avoid them if possible and if i dont avoid them its only because im worrying that i will upset the other person and they wont want to see me again.
Certain people seem to make me more anxious than others i dont know if its there personality or what? I mean one of my family members partner I feel really uncomfortable around her and it doesnt matter how much i see her i just feel panicky and cant listen to what they are saying just wishing the time would fly by so i can be on my own again. I'm lonely most of the time because i just feel excruciatingly uncomfortable around most people including my family.

I'm not house bound but only really go out either with someone or if i have somewhere to go, i find it difficult to just say go out for a walk because i dont have a goal as to where im going i feel more anxious.

Could anyone tell me how long they have experienced there social anxiety or agrophobia or both for and to what degrees?

Thanks for reading

Hey Esmin,

Your post accurately describes me, too. Although I have never been one to socialize with others, my social anxiety became most noticeable when I entered high school and tried to approach the first female crush I ever had. The first time I wasn’t able to do it but the second time I was able to, thanks, in my opinion, to the support of a cane, as my left foot was broken at the time and I was using it to help me walk along with a cast. Approaching women is painfully difficult for me. I might be fainting at times. I find that I am unsteady on my feet and I experience tunnel vision. While taking martial arts classes I was known to hold my breathe indefinitely when I was anxious. That might be why…

Neither do I leave the house much unless to visit someone, mostly my counselor, or if I have to do something.

About you being uncomfortable around certain persons, I can also relate to that. Whenever I am around somebody, it is like I can sense if they are bad company or good company for me. Might sound stupid but I am excellent at observing others and noticing patterns in them. One notable example of this was my high school’s guidance counselor. While I was working on an assignment in my special education classroom, he came in to our classroom; my heart skipped a beat. I didn’t know who this older man was but I felt horribly uncomfortable around him, and I suspected that he was there to see me and that his visit would not end well. After he sat across from me, starring at me with this smile, I knew he was there for me. Two years later the school issued a restraining order between us; we never talked again. Other times I feel really good around somebody in a short period of time.

But, yes, being uncomfortable around others for no ascertainable reason happens to me.

I’ve experienced social anxiety likely most of my life - I’m about to turn 21 years old - but most significantly when I entered the teen years.

Something I find helpful with all my anxieties, if only a little, is the use of a stress ball. I carry one around with me almost everywhere and I have one in my office.

[firemonkee]

Since my early teens-41-42 years. It is very severe based on the Liebowitz social anxiety scale.

[Esmin]

Hiya Esmin

I don't suffer from this most of the time, but wanted to say how much I feel for you on this. Have you ever tried CBT? As a therapy, it is not suitable for everyone or all conditions, but it can be very good at tackling this kind of problem by challenging the underlying beliefs and fears and setting goals. The goals are very small at first, but can increase as you gain confidence.

Hi there,

Im pretty sure ive had this or at least the technique used on me before by my cpn. I think the issues are deep rooted and quite complex surrounding my SA. I do think though things to some degree have improved abit since my teens. but when i look back ive come to realise that i didnt have a great deal of social interaction and before my teens i was bullied quite abit. and (not blaming my parents here) when i was in my primary school years i remember wanting friends over to stay and was never allowed.

[Sweetie]

Im 21 and ive had SA and eyrthrophobia since i was around 14/15. I lived in fear for years previous but it was only until around 14/15 i could notice a development of disorders - which at the time i had no clue wtf i was experiencing...
I feel for you coz it is hard.
Take care

[ms471]

Hi Esmin
I have had social anxiety all my life (I'm 40 now), along with other emotional issues, such as lack of confidence, shyness and low self-esteem. I'm lonely all of the time. I don't have any friends and in part, I will admit that's down to me because, like you, I just feel terribly uncomfortable around everyone including work colleagues, so this has made forming relationships with anyone extremely hard. I'm not exactly housebound as I do go to work but I hate it just being work and home (as I'm a carer for my Mum too). I'd love to have friends and a life but I realise this will be impossible, as I can't see my situation changing in the near future. Are you receiving some kind of help with your issues i.e. in the form of treatments, etc?

[Esmin]

Hi Esmin
I have had social anxiety all my life (I'm 40 now), along with other emotional issues, such as lack of confidence, shyness and low self-esteem. I'm lonely all of the time. I don't have any friends and in part, I will admit that's down to me because, like you, I just feel terribly uncomfortable around everyone including work colleagues, so this has made forming relationships with anyone extremely hard. I'm not exactly housebound as I do go to work but I hate it just being work and home (as I'm a carer for my Mum too). I'd love to have friends and a life but I realise this will be impossible, as I can't see my situation changing in the near future. Are you receiving some kind of help with your issues i.e. in the form of treatments, etc?

Hi, gosh ive not been on here in a while now, just noticed an email to notify me of this thread. Firstly Im sorry to hear of your struggles I know how heart wrenching and disabling this disorder can be. I have been on a couple of short courses through the mental health services to try and help im on medication which helps a little but obviously isn't a cure. Im currently on a waiting list for psychotherapy
which by the time it comes around it will be about a year since my first consultation meeting. What about you have you had any treatment?

[SuzeeJ]

yeah me too, since about 16 I think. so for me 14 years. There was a couple of years where i was free of the anxiety but came back again and now have bad insomnia past 3 years too

[ms471]

Hi Esmin
Thanks for your reply. In answer to your question, no I haven't received any treatment. I'm what you call one of those people who perhaps 'choose' to suffer in silence. I do hope that you will be successful in receiving some form of psychotherapy. All the best to you.