psychosis or something else?

[Petalsoup]

what do you reckon? I just keep wondering whether I have simply experienced a couple of episodes of psychosis to one extent or another purely due to stress/trauma etc, or whether I have some kind of tendency to experience those types of symptoms which is always going to be with me to some extent? I guess this is something I will raise in t to see if its worth considering.

I have experienced delusions/hallucinations at different times, usually after trauma and the worst recently but I feel like this time, I've really had to face up to my problems and am sorting them out in therapy. Which is great. But I do remember one very strong delusion which occupied my mind a lot before there were any traumas (I think?) I think I was 12/13 ish. Not sure! And also another thing which, with hindsight, sounds like a delusion or at least very very odd thinking lol when I was about 7/8. I won't describe them here, but if they were delusions, what would that mean? That sometimes my mind is just going to play little tricks on me?

[Madman]

Hi PS,

it's difficult to give a proper opinion as you have been a bit vague, but delusions are often associated with some sort of Schizoaffective disorder. For a proper diagnosis you would need to be seen by a psychiatrist.

Here's what it says on Wikipedia - Schizoaffective disorder most commonly affects cognition and emotion. Auditory hallucinations, paranoia, bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking with significant social and occupational dysfunction are typical. The division into depressive and bipolar types is based on whether the individual has ever had a manic, hypomanic or mixed episode. Symptoms usually begin in early adulthood, which makes diagnosis prior to age 13 rare.

Schizoaffective disorder belongs to the "schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorders" proposed by the DSM-5 Workgroup, which includes schizophrenia, schizotypal personality disorder, schizophreniform disorder, brief psychotic disorder, delusional disorder, substance-induced psychotic disorder, both psychotic and catatonic disorders associated with a general medical condition, both unspecified psychotic and catatonic disorders and other unspecified psychotic disorder. This spectrum of psychotic disorders is comparable to the bipolar spectrum in bipolar disorder. Each named disorder on this continuum shares symptoms with the others, and some professionals (including the working group for the DSM-5) contend that the boundaries are so unclear that separate labels are not necessarily warranted.

[Petalsoup]

Thanks that's interesting. Think I'll be having the psychiatrist discussion again with my t in the not too distant

[Petalsoup]

ok have been reading online (dodgy game I know) on ptsd and psychosis and how they are linked.
does anyone else have experience of this? Am I stuck with it for life?

I have not and hopefully will not see a psych, my therapy is led by me and its getting hard to figure out what to do now. I am scared to discuss my past in case it sends me psychotic again (tbh i do still get some psychotic symptoms but nothing like as crazy thank god). But a bit worried that unless I do, I'm never really going to get 'better'.

Anyone got any experience or even just random thoughts?

[keepsafe]

I suffer with psychosis but only when I am very ill. I do howevere suffer flashbacks that are based on my past trauma. I have had therapy and the flashbacks have not gone away, the only real strategy I have now is to be accepting of them and try not to go down the route of negativity afterwards. I need to say o.k thats a flashback, I realise what it is and it can;t hurt me now. Its very hard, but I am trying.
I also change the incidents in the flashback too if I can, this takes a lot of practice.

Anyway in short, some peoples flashbacks diminish, but for some they carry on for years, have you tried and mindfulness practices?

KS

[Petalsoup]

thanks
I havent suffered much from flashbacks, only for a couple of weeks after I was really poorly (even then not sure it was flashbacks or just remembering?), which is kind of when I remembered some stuff I'd forgotten. It was horrid then but hasnt bothered me since. I sometimes think about those memories and think woooah but I dont feel depressed or traumatised, just shocked that they happened to me iykwim? I have told my t I have remembered more things since being psychotic (I guess this is maybe why some call it a healing crisis?) but she hasnt pushed for details, I think because there is a lot of stress in my day to day life atm and I am still having to see my ex a lot due to the children, and that was causing me to have panic attacks around him for a little while which really isnt ideal. Anyway I seem to have half-repressed it all again lol for now, except for the little cracks which show eg I had become convinced/deluded that one child was going to sexually abuse the other ( ) which wasnt true at all, and t reckons Id transferred feelings to do with my ex onto children which I am now trying to deal with. So I guess instead of flashbacks I get that? no idea, its very confusing. Mostly I don't really feel emotions at all tbh, so I guess I don't need mindfulness right now. Maybe I will if once things are settled down I am made to discuss stuff!

[Ainsworth]

ah it was you petal that wrote the post on ptsd and psychosis. i knew someone did.

i had auditory hallucinations as a child, i put it at about 8 years old but i dont count it as psychosis (yep could be mad here) i just see it as trauma more so and dont apply a name for it. i only get voices when im ill, but had a breakdown from ptsd which cause huge problems but has got better. the voices have always been around but have eased somewhat. i dont ever think we are stuck with anything for life. or i havent been so far on all the stuff they have dx.

have hope

its early cant spell oops

[Petalsoup]

thanks ainsworth thats interesting
I had some very odd delusional thoughts around the same age, and again around 13, but don't remember anything traumatic before age 14, tho I guess parenting was possibly rather odd.
After trauma at 14/15 I was defo psychotic
After a trauma around 22 I def had at least some psychotic symptoms
and I think this time was due to remembering the beginning of a relationship I ended last year with my ex?
so I guess thats reassuring really, as long as I don't get myself into any more traumatic situations!
found this article which is really interesting
http://www.psychminded.co.uk/news/ne...lationship.pdf

[Ainsworth]

i couldnt read all of it, so will go back to it.

i take it you have read all of it, it just seems logical to me that trauma of any experience can lead to state that is outside (what is listed as normal range) also a combo of events can lead to the resulting psychosis, so a big traumatic event doesnt have to be the source. i dunno what caused my voices at 8 years old. i also had the defunctional family but nothing big in the way of trauma happened, that i remember.

fuck, im going potty, i did have what would be considered trauma, i forgot about the physical abuse

ive been up to long, i forgot it for a moment

[Petalsoup]

I do that a lot, things slip your mind then its a real bummer when they slip back in again isnt it how is a person meant to keep track of it all! v confusing with relationship with my ex as only remember little snapshots from when I was 17ish, cant really get a proper picture of why it happened or how much iykwim. ah well.

yeah I just skim read the article tbh, its common sense stuff really I guess, just psychosis and related conditions are always seen as these abstract medical conditions which one somehow mysteriously ends up with...and I guess there often is at least an element of mystery, and sometimes apparently no reason at all...but it does seem wrong IMO to call some of these things mental illness, if they are logical-reaction-to-experiences and circumstances, which is what my therapist calls it.