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    Thread: Depression & BPD/EUPD?

    1. #1
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      Default Depression & BPD/EUPD?

      What's the longest anyone with BPD/EUPD has had depression for? I'm diagnosed with EUPD, and I've been depressed for over a month. My mood has been flat and subdued consistently, although I get continuous racing thoughts and often very irritable, tense, anxious and agitated. I'm sometimes very angry for what seems like no reason, but was wondering if this is EUPD or a symptom of depression.
      The depression I'm experiencing makes me very sad and I feel like everyone hates me, is angry with me, and that I've done something wrong. How do the doctors know if this is depression within EUPD, or clinical depression And EUPD?

      When the depression came on, it was associated with with paranoid feelings and strange delusional thoughts. I also had an episode seven years ago when I was severely depressed for months and thought that people wanted to attack me and that they were reading my mind (similar to how I feel now). I cannot leave the house and get continuous suicidal thoughts. I cannot talk to anyone as it makes me too paranoid. My appetite has decreased significantly and I find it hard to take care of myself. Life has lost all meaning and I don't see a point in living. I can't concentrate on the things I used to enjoy and I find it very difficult to sleep. I often stay up irritable and tense in the night and eventually crash out in the day and wake up at strange times.

      How do others experience depression with BPD/EUPD? Is what I've written sounding familiar?

      I find it very hard to talk to medical professionals about how I feel because they make me feel anxious and paranoid, and I think they use everything I say against me.

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      Senior Member Girl Interrupted's Avatar
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      What you're describing is par for the course with BPD/EUPD which ever title you prefer, I'm more used to BPD.

      Some p/docs like to categorise BPD depression, therefore some get a dx of dysthymia, rather than clinical depression although it can develop into a more serious clinical depression.

      Sounds like you're very flat. How are you managing with self care & daily functioning? If you're not managing to care for yourself on a basic level you need to speak to a MH support worker if you have one.

      The paranoia is usually induced by stress, when life is less favourable, or when one is experiencing prolonged stressors, mistrust issues etc.... I experience the dreadful paranoia when I my mood is low too or if I am subjected to chronic stressors. I guess the severe anxiety & paranoia is a result of past hurt/trauma. May be a symptom of PTSD & mistrust.

      My lows can last for months, although I cover it up now because I do not have a MH care team at present. I have been hospitalised because my lows were so bad in the past as I experience suicidal thoughts.

      It may help to try identify if there is cause/trigger to your depression if that is at all possible. Have you ever done any CBT or therapy?
      'The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases'. ~ Carl Jung

      'I am not who I think I am; I am not who you think I am, I am who I think that you think I am' ~ Charles Horton Cooley


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      Senior Member maxitab's Avatar
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      Hate to say this but my worst depression last much much longer than this........for years in fact. The current one started about year ago, but I had not had a down for about six years prior to that, and yes, BPD here too.
      “The value of compassion cannot be over-emphasized. Anyone can criticize. It takes a true believer to be compassionate. No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know no one cares or understands.”

      "Don't walk ahead of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend". A Camus.
      Thanks VioletSky gave thanks for this post

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      Thank you for your replies. Self-care & daily function. With regards to self-cleanliness, maintaining the home, eating, leaving the house; I'm not doing so well. Don't really do any of those things. Rarely eat, brush my teeth, wash and stuff like that. I bathed and cleaned for the first time in ages the other week to prepare for my death, but I daren't tell that to the CMHT. I don't divulge information to them in fear of being hospitalised. I did initially but they turn what I say against me. Do you think it's a usual part of BPD/EUPD to think people want to hurt you, and that people spy on you?
      I have done transpersonal therapy but it only works if you are stable. I was rejected from CBT and referred to the CMHT as they said there was nothing they could do for me at this time. The CMHT wants me to do DBT but I can't leave the house. The outreach team came round yesterday and said they would put in their notes that I was rejecting their help. I said I wasn't, and was hurt by their comment. I told them I wasn't trying to be difficult I just couldn't be around people.
      When they were there I basically hid from them and found it almost impossible to talk. There's not really much I can do. People have been kind enough to offer me help but I am not able to receive it. Moot point. I think the trigger to my depression is being around people. Unfortunately being on my own also worsens things.

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      Senior Member loulabelle's Avatar
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      :=( feeling 4 u
      my self care is non existant also i had a shower today after 5 days my hair was soooo greasy that it was perminatly stuck in the up position lol !!!!
      appetit gone to ....

      hope u feel better soon XXX
      Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.
      Thanks VioletSky gave thanks for this post

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      Active Member everywhichwaybutnormal's Avatar
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      my depression started at age 14 stopped for a couple of months after i had my brain tumour out at age 19 and it has made a return
      "from delusion lead me to truth"
      "from darkness lead me to light"
      "death lead me to eternal life"

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