What's the longest anyone with BPD/EUPD has had depression for? I'm diagnosed with EUPD, and I've been depressed for over a month. My mood has been flat and subdued consistently, although I get continuous racing thoughts and often very irritable, tense, anxious and agitated. I'm sometimes very angry for what seems like no reason, but was wondering if this is EUPD or a symptom of depression.
The depression I'm experiencing makes me very sad and I feel like everyone hates me, is angry with me, and that I've done something wrong. How do the doctors know if this is depression within EUPD, or clinical depression And EUPD?
When the depression came on, it was associated with with paranoid feelings and strange delusional thoughts. I also had an episode seven years ago when I was severely depressed for months and thought that people wanted to attack me and that they were reading my mind (similar to how I feel now). I cannot leave the house and get continuous suicidal thoughts. I cannot talk to anyone as it makes me too paranoid. My appetite has decreased significantly and I find it hard to take care of myself. Life has lost all meaning and I don't see a point in living. I can't concentrate on the things I used to enjoy and I find it very difficult to sleep. I often stay up irritable and tense in the night and eventually crash out in the day and wake up at strange times.
How do others experience depression with BPD/EUPD? Is what I've written sounding familiar?
I find it very hard to talk to medical professionals about how I feel because they make me feel anxious and paranoid, and I think they use everything I say against me.