psychotic depression

[VioletSky]

does anyone know when this disorder usually starts? is it quite random, or are there usual ages that it manifests?

[Apollon]

It can happen anytime.
I had that diagnosis at one point... And possibly it's going to be restored in my case...
Psychotic depression can come all of sudden (genetic factor), after major stress event, after some time on illegal drugs etc...
It's pretty severe form of depression, and delusions are prominent, hallucinations not often.
Delusions are dark and gloomy, never grandiose or egocentric (as seen in psychotic mania and paranoid schizophrenia)...
Psychotic depression can refer to chronic milder depression too...
So yes, it can happen to anyone at anytime...

[TinyTee]

i had my first episode march this year, it came on after a long time on valium and smoking weed also alot of stress and the loss of my father. i had dellusional thoughts which i truely believed to be true. i was severly paranoid and was hospitalisedx for three months, during this time i was weened off the valium of 90 mg a day and started on antidepressants. it took ten weeks to get of the diazepam and then i was started on anti pyschotics.
since i got out of hospital i have suffered with severe depression and i feel my personality has changed, i used to be so out going and always up for a laugh but now im withdrawn and i dont talk much at all, its really upsetting its been 5 months now and im still depressed. the anti psychotics stopped the symptoms but i dont feel like the same person. will i ever get back to the person i was before this episode, my phychiatrist says yes but when. im so depressed that i take my son to school then i go back to bed every day and sleep untill i have to pick him up. everything i have to do seems like a real task and is difficult. i have no energy and no motivation, can any one else relate to this.

[calypso]

Hiya Tiny Tee

I am so sorry you are in such a state. Depression is often not understood and it can be relatively mild to very very serious. It can have such symptoms too. I think you will find your way through, but depression can take a very long time to recover from it. You did not get into this state overnight, and so will not get over it quickly. If only there was a magic pill, but there isn't I'm afraid.

As for having a personality change - I would argue that you have not had that, it is just an aspect of yoruself that you did not recognise before and maybe it would be healthy to look at this other you. You may be outgoing, but depression stops most of us managing that. I don't think you will need anti psychotics for very long.

All the best xx

[TinyTee]

my pdoc said i will need them for about a year from when i feel well.

[stevegardner]

Hi Tiny Tee (and VioletSky & Others)
My psychotic depression started after years of many relatively minor but still stressful events when I was about 50 years old. The feelings you describe are almost exactly how I felt (and sometimes still do for short periods). The tablets certainly stopped the psychotic thoughts and lessened the awful feelings - trouble is they lessen every other feeling too. I was withdrawn, talked very little and did next to nothing but I think that was the illness more than anything. I just been through a short worsening of my illness but the episodes are getting shorter and less severe. I am gradually getting back to being myself, that feeling of a changed personality has been very real.
It took a long time but things have slowly get better for me. Hang on in there.

[Cindy Ferguson]

I had a life time of super stresses and handled them very well. However at age 43, while seeking treatment for depression, I fell through the cracks medically. Well, after the fact the doctors said that almost every serious high stress level event that is on there lists, occured around the same time in my life. Also I had a physical medical problem that complications arose from and then found my friend dead in her apt. This friend was the one person helping with emotional support through the other problems as I did for her as well. They said it was the perfect storm times 10, and I ended up with post traumatic stress disorder and a physcotic episode. I was sedated for 4 or 5 days and in hospital for a month. When I got home, it wasn't so much that my personality changed as I became very frightened and unsure. I didn't know what the future held, I was very unsure of myself and questioned everything especially my own memory, way too much due to my perseption being so off in the episode and things that were not real seeming so. I did notice a dampening of emotions and discussed it with the doctors. They said it is normal. It does lessen when doctors take me off the meds. However there are certain changes, such as the voices that I have and still am learning to cope with when off meds. On top of all the other worries this condition and lack of information about it brought with it, being a widow, I worried I wouldn't be able to date or find a partner. That doesnt' help depresssion any. Most people didn't know I was in hospital and I never even fully told the details to family yet. 10 months later someone sneakily hooked me up on a match making project. I liked the man but was still terrified of dating anyone at all, and of what to do or tell him. He asked me if I'd ever suffered depression. I got my meds and showed him them, and told him it had started over the last couple years. He told me he had suffered depresssion since graduating high school. Still I worried how to tell him about my episode, hospitalization and the left over reminents of PTSD, which are the voices. So one night I was rubbing his back and he was falling asleep. He quietly asks me, were you just talking to me, and did you say such and such. I said no, I am not talking at all, I am just rubbing your back. He simply says...oh it must be the voices then. I asked him what he means. He says oh since my hospitalization from stress and physical abuse I suffered in my last brief marraige, I hear voices in my head. He couldn't see my face, but I got the funniest grin on it. Thinking...well this a sudden twist of situation. I asked what they were saying. He said they sound just like you, they are so nice, and saying such nice things, very sweet positive and comforting, unlike they did before I met you when it was always alot of negative stuff. They are so comforting now. I told him well I'm glad that they are nice if its due to me, and things will be ok, just let me know if they get negative again and maybe I can help. Other then that just relax, get rest and try not to stress yourself. When I finally told him about mine, he said oh so that is why you were so calm and reacted as you did the night I told you of mine. I said no I reacted like I did because it's who I am, and I had experience with others in life who had the condition. Anyways, having someone to talk to who also took such a postive attitude about the situation helped me alot. contact with others, and getting back to a normal sense of life helps alot too. Dating him reassured me I was still who I always had been and gave me hope again. I grew stronger and was taken off the anti-psychotic meds at 4 months rather then a year. I did end up back on them 6 months later again, and then off again after a few months. I have been off them for awhile and am down to a very low dose of even the anti-depressents after 3 years. I do have to be careful about stress however in ways I never had to before. It's like an injury. After an injury or illness, you tend to be more supseptable. I am no longer with the person for various reasons that had nothing to do with anything negative about me or my personality. He didn't follow treatments for his condtion as I did, and he had various other problems. I was greatful to have met him and greatful that it showed me I was not as bad off as I thought I was and I grow stronger all the time. schitzophrenia, which is not what I have, usually shows up in late teens or into the 20s with most I am told. hope it helps.