Hey there, I don't mean to offend anyone, just have been having thoughts lately...

[warriorprincess]

Hey there, I'm a regular over at the Bipolar section of this site, tho I still have no firm diagnosis of everything, but that seems to have been the recurrent theme of 'pre-diagnosis' for the last 5 years.

Ok, I'm trying not to ramble. I know a little about PTSD - my old boss suffered it and also an old friend of mine, for two entirely different reasons, but I could understand in both cases why they had it so to speak. I have some understanding from their point of view, and spent many hours talking with my boss over what he was feeling.

Everything I know about it seems to relate to massively life-changing events.

Just lately I have been wondering if I suffer some post-traumatic stress from an event in my life, but (and it's very hard to talk about it without actually talking about it) I wonder if what I've been through is severe enough to cause PTSD?

Can anyone tell me what has caused their PTSD - and this is where I may sound ignorant so please, excuse me, but I tend to think of it as disastrous life events that cause it, and although that could be said of how I feel, it's not necessarily something that most people may relate to - I haven't come back from war, I wasn't in an accident etc.

But the symptoms I seem to have relate totally to my expectations of PTSD - recurring dreams about this event (6 years on), high anxiety, some things are just always on my mind you know, I can't escape it. Dates come round every year and it becomes unsufferable, just to name a few of the things I feel anyway.

I would really be grateful for any advice on this, as I say I have no proper diagnosis, and I'm going in for round 3 of treatment with a psych as of next week (they keep fobbing me off), and so I wonder is it worth a mention of these feelings of mine, or do I persevere with my general mood swings, which do seem to indicate bipolar at the very root of it all.

Or, indeed, does anyone suffer with PTSD alongside BP?

Thanks for your time, xxx

[keepsafe]

Hey Warrior,

I suffer from P.T.S.D - i do dream about it but suffer terrible flashbacks also, mine was caused by s.abuse when I was younger. I do think that flashbacks are a common occurence in this, do you suffer them or just bad dreams? It might be worth talking to your psychiatrist about it anyway, you know if it affects you then it is a symptom, whether it be p.t.s.d. or not.

Good luck with your new psych anyway
KS

[maxitab]

Hi warrior, and I think I get the drift of your post - you are wondering if it could be PTSD because maybe it wasn't 'bad' enough?
I think many people have this notion, but the truth is we respond to things very differently, and what may cause one person a few qualms will have another running for the hills. So....in essence it is not the type or 'severity' of the event that is important, but whether we are traumatised by it.....and from the sounds of it, you were!
The recurrent dreams, the inability to let any sort of anniversary go by, but more importantly, that it is constantly in your mind. These are classic PTSD signs.
Hope this helps......

[pentagram]

I didn't get my ptsd from war or accident either. Mine comes from my treatment by the NHS in 1972 when they tried to change my sexuality and its aftermath. I was tied to a chair and electrocuted. I have suffered from ptsd for 38 years without knowing what it was. Only diagnosed and properly treated in the last 8 months.

My flashbacks are horrible, I had one the night before last that had me reliving my torture with re-experiencing the actual physical pain. I have extreme mood swings as part of the re-living of these events, which in some respects is like having bipolar but I am not bipolar.

I can see why so many people are given a bipolar diagnosis because one may suffer from mood swings (I know there is more to it than that) but these can be related to anything, imagine your mood swing if you picked up your lottery ticket to see you had all 6 numbers and then find out 2 minutes later that you are looking at last weeks results!

I am sure there are many gays who went through the same experience as me but came out of it relatively well adjusted. Everyone is different and reacts differently to life events and my ptsd is as related to my childhood as to the actual event.

[pentagram]

I thought I had better add this. I have met a fair number of people who, on finding I have PTSD assume I have been in a train crash or the army or something. They cannot relate to the fact that I have just got it from being tortured 38 years ago, for something I appeared to have volunteered for.

Its called complex PTSD.

[warriorprincess]

Wow, well thanks for the response! I am overwhelmed so will do my best to reply to you all...

Keepsafe, yeh I failed to mention, it's not JUST bad dreams, but flashbacks that can come from nowhere. There are obviously triggers that can bring it all back to me. The nature of what happened means it's not a 'scary scary' feeling, but it just invites so many negative feelings and I feel flooded with the feelings on most days. Still 6 years on! I know that's nothing, it may well happen for the rest of my life, as pentagram says, still punished 38 years on, I'm so sorry. Thanks for adding thaht - so it seems pretty much ;anything' can spark PTSD. I read a bit online last night, and it was saying how many people suffering ptsd may have many events that 'could have' induced it, but that it's usually pinpointed on one thing, regardless of any other events... i.e, someone in a car crash could well have ben alright after that, but then another incident and you're kinda doubling the power of the stress from the first things each time. If that makes any ounce of sense... The site I read definitely made sense to me.

Thanks maxitab too, yeh it makes sense. It kinda relays to what I was just trying to convey - that often major things can pass us by until that 'one straw, that breaks our camel's back' so to speak. then it all comes flooding. You totally got my point, thank you, it's nice to be understood. I have no one to really talk this over with, I've had counselling but it still haunts me 3 years after that, yet t the time I thought she had helped me. Like you say, I seem to experience a lot of the classic symptoms, number one being that I still can't let go and not one day passes without me thinking about it -regardless of what possible 'bipolar state' I am in - this is something that's always there, and may even act as a catalyst to everything else I experience...

and Pentagram, so sorry to hear of your experience - it's interesting what you say that it can affect you as tho you have bipolar. I guess I wanna be so sure before something like that is put on my record, if it may be that that is not the case. I'm pretty sure in my mind that the bipolar was there a long time before, but it can be hard differentiating what caused what sometimes, tho like you say, everyone reacts differently to life events, and it sounds as though you at least have understanding, even if that's not much consolation, but I pity anyone who lacks insight with this. It sure is a head fuck. and even worse, when it's not something 'typical' - for me there's no proud story - I didn't fight any wars, I didn't lose someone in an accident, all that happened, happened to me and me alone, and that kinda puts a brick wall around me in the first place. Maybe it's time to let the cracks take hold.

Many many thanks to you all for understanding me, and offering your advice. I may well be on here a bit more in the future.

xxx