A post i long to publish .. abuse

[Boris]

Heyy yeah maybe there is someone but i just wish i could tell my mom or someone what he did

Yes I can understand that, and I can understand only too well why you hesitate in telling your mother... you could ask her an assuming innocent question, along the lines of, how would you react if one of your children were to tell you they`ve been abused? Would you believe them? Would you support them? Would you feel any less towards them etc?

[Lolli_Liability]

I still cannot bring my self to tell my mom
im finding it difficult to find the words each time i try to tell her
i dont want to ask those questions because then she would ask me questions
and i dont like when i feel pressure i shut off :/
i cannot talk about my abuse i cant write it anymore either
suppose i havent yet dealt with it

[keepsafe]

Loli,

You have been exceptionally brave, the things we have been through are like hell itself. You need to get some theraputic help for this. Can you go to your doctors and ask to be reffered for some talking therapy.

If you need to talk at anytime pm me.

KS
xx

[friars126]

That's what i was going to suggest, maybe if you can talk to a therapist about it, they can help you find ways to come to terms with it and maybe find a way to approach your mum about it. You only get 7 sessions on the NHS but it might be enough. Rape crisis may also be able to help, i know people that work for our local one and it is VERY confidential, they don't keep notes and only refer to you by number. Keeping it bottled up is clearly making you ill hunny but welcome back xx
http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/

[calypso]

The problem is your age, 16. I doubt your mum would be happy with you mysteriously disappearing for a confidential appt. In your present state, she would panic. But a talking therapy that she takes you to, you could just tell her its confidential and she would assume it was help for your bipolar or eating disorder. I think, knowing you, that you have a lot else on your plate. They are offering you help with the eating in a talk therapy aren't they? The abuse is DIRECTLY linked to that. Your self hatred, need to control yourself, need to never let anything like this happen again etc.

Honey, could you write on a paper just the words, "I've been sexually abused, but feel I can't talk about it" and give that to your therapist. Let them do their magic, which means they are unlikely to directly ask you. Or if they do, you just say, I can't talk, but you needed to know. They have ways of handling this without scaring you witless. You have posted it on here in the diary section, so you have expressed it once. It will be easier next time. Stuff like this, if left inside, will fester and grow into a monster in your mind. If released, it becomes much more manageable and can be helped in Oh so many ways.

You always tell me you are not courageous and cannot do things, and then you find you can do them. You said you would never write that one here, and then you did. You said you would never voluntarily go into the mental hospital, and then you did ( admittedly with me ordering you to LOL). You said you wouldn't have the latest procedure done (won't mention it here), then you did. You know Lolli, you are much braver than you think, its just a mantra you tell yourself over and over again, that you are not.

I personally am SO proud of you and what you have achieved lately. Really amazing kid (you are a kid to me!). You just listen to me, you are amazing. I don't know another 16 year old manage as well as you. I certainly could not have done at your age. Be proud!

Love Calypso xxxxx etc

[Robbert]

The problem is your age, 16. I doubt your mum would be happy with you mysteriously disappearing for a confidential appt. In your present state, she would panic. But a talking therapy that she takes you to, you could just tell her its confidential and she would assume it was help for your bipolar or eating disorder. I think, knowing you, that you have a lot else on your plate. They are offering you help with the eating in a talk therapy aren't they? The abuse is DIRECTLY linked to that. Your self hatred, need to control yourself, need to never let anything like this happen again etc.

Honey, could you write on a paper just the words, "I've been sexually abused, but feel I can't talk about it" and give that to your therapist. Let them do their magic, which means they are unlikely to directly ask you. Or if they do, you just say, I can't talk, but you needed to know. They have ways of handling this without scaring you witless. You have posted it on here in the diary section, so you have expressed it once. It will be easier next time. Stuff like this, if left inside, will fester and grow into a monster in your mind. If released, it becomes much more manageable and can be helped in Oh so many ways.

You always tell me you are not courageous and cannot do things, and then you find you can do them. You said you would never write that one here, and then you did. You said you would never voluntarily go into the mental hospital, and then you did ( admittedly with me ordering you to LOL). You said you wouldn't have the latest procedure done (won't mention it here), then you did. You know Lolli, you are much braver than you think, its just a mantra you tell yourself over and over again, that you are not.

I personally am SO proud of you and what you have achieved lately. Really amazing kid (you are a kid to me!). You just listen to me, you are amazing. I don't know another 16 year old manage as well as you. I certainly could not have done at your age. Be proud!

Love Calypso xxxxx etc

I agree with Calypso on everything she has said.

You are an amazing and very brave person. Remember that.

[Lolli_Liability]

Thankyou Calypso that mean ALOT ! honestly its nice to hear it
Yeahh ii supose i could right it down , nah maybe i could tell them i dunno know
Yeaa i have therapy at somepoint soon cant remember when though
ooops
LOL

Ermmm yeahh , irll sort it out though
Thanks for the advice

LOVE YA ! x