Im new, My partner has severe depression - I need some help please :(

[missjk]

Hello, Im new to this so I hope its ok to give you a little detail about why Im here..

Ive been with my partner for 4 years. He suffers from OCD and severe depression which comes and goes every 3-4 months. When the depression strikes he describes it as a pain in his head & his mind is tormented. He sinks away from his friends & me for 2-3 months eachtime until hes come out of it again. Last year it got so bad that he tried to hang himself, Thank the lord I was able to cut him down and he lived. Obviously this has traumatised me, but it also has him too.
Hes currently going thro his most recent bout of depression and hes crying alot, he feels very guilty what he puts me thro but ive never given up on him. Hes recently been saying he wishes he wouldnt wake up so the pain and torture would go away. It breaks my heart.
Hes a creature of habit and panics when his routine is disrupted so we still dont live together which I do find upsetting, BUT i think he needs to manage his depression before we can live together.

When he is 'well' hes the most loving man I could wish for, its like something takes over is his mind every few months and I wish it would go away.

Hes starting a course of CBT next month, do you think this will help?
We are both praying it will work/help.

Thank you for reading.
JK

[monopoly100]

hello jk, i dont think cbt helps everybody but i found it very good in conjunction with anti-depressants. reading your post i think your partner has slightly more severe depression than i did at my worst but ive come out of the other side and im sure he will as he has an understanding partner!
all my best wishes

[Mayfair]

Welcome to the site miss.

CBT might well help.

I'll my two penneth in, tomorrow.

[cfb107]

Hi there and welcome

Sounds like you have been going through some very tough things... CBT is a good place to start and if it doesn't help as much as he hopes, there are many other therapies to try? Personally I think therapy is the way to go - any kind is worth trying; don't know what works/doesn't work unless he gives things a go...

You sound like one very brave lady - have a hug from me. Hope things go well for you your partner and CBT helps him xxx

[missjk]

Thank you for your replies.
I dont feel very brave atthe moment

[cfb107]

Well I think you're brave it's not easy being the carer whilst your partner has MH problems - I dread to remember what my partner went through, and might well go through again xxx

[missjk]

Thats kind of you, thank you.
To be honest, we had a bit of an argument (or rather, I said the wrong thing) last night after he'd had a few drinks and he drove home drunk. He gets uncontrollable after a few drinks, i know he got home safe but i havent heard from him all day. Worried sick doesnt even cover it.
I hope you are ok, thank you so much for replying and being so kind. Hope your situation is managable and ok.

[cfb107]

How long has he been diagnosed? When does the CBT start? Hopefully that will bring you both some relief

[missjk]

Diagonosed? No! I wish,, I cant tell you how many times ive pleaded with the doctor to try and get him sectioned, or to try and put a title on his illness (I know that sounds odd but I feel theres more to it than 'depression' if you know what i mean?). I finally spoke to his counseller last week (after weeks/months ofchasing the doctors to get him a referral) and shes going to start seeing him middle of February. God, I cant tell you how much im wish the time away at the moment . Thanks so much for asking and caring. Its amazing how many friends you loose because they dont understand, just because its a 'mental' illness doesnt mean its less important thats a physical one... alot of people dont seem to be of the same opinion sadly.

[cfb107]

Its amazing how many friends you loose because they dont understand, just because its a 'mental' illness doesnt mean its less important thats a physical one... alot of people dont seem to be of the same opinion sadly.

Yes I know this feeling - but if we lose them because of it, they're not worth anything anyway... True friends understand. Just wish I'd have known this a few years ago!

By diagnosed I meant when was he diagnosed as depressed? Is he on meds?