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    Thread: Eating Myself to Death

    1. #1

      Default Eating Myself to Death

      Hey...Im new here

      I just joined because I needed to DO something. I am literally eating myself to death and Im so scared. Ive got OCD and depression and I think binge eating the way I am is a kind of self harm because I hate myself so much. Ive put on about 5 stone in a very short space of time and I dont seem to be able to stop eating. I'll start dieting or eating better on a Monday or something and the next day I'll be in the supermarket buying tons of junk. Ive been doing some research and I think I have an eating disorder and its gotten to the point now where if I dont do something its going to kill me but I dont know where to turn. My mum knows I eat a lot but when I mentioned it may be an eating disorder she dismissed it and said I should 'just stop eating so much'. I dont feel I can go to my doctor either because I think he'll just laugh at me the same way as when I tried to get help for my OCD. Its taking all of my willpower at the moment just to stop me going back to cutting myself. I just dont know what to do anymore

    2. #2
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      Jun 2010
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      Watford, Herts, UK
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      Hi there

      I really feel for you, and it sounds like you are in a very difficult situation indeed and the people around you really don't understand. Do you see a therapist and are you on meds? The meds of course can have an effect on your appetite/weight.....but really it sounds like the bingeing is very much to do with your emotions.

      If your Dr doesn't take you seriously, why not change and see someone else? It's important you feel listened to and eating disorders of any kind, including Binge Eating Disorder which is a recognised condition can be addressed if you find the right support.

      I have periods of binge eating too, but when i'm depressed i go the other way and lose my appetite like i have at the moment and i'm terrified of it returning cos i know i'll end up bingeing again. It's that feeling of having no control, it's just awful.

      It's great that you've managed not to cut yourself, that too is something i used to do, and the more out of control you feel your life and food is the more you think about cutting, but at the same time you know that it won't help you to feel better, it won't curb your appetite and it's just a very temporary relief.....so well done for resisting the urge.

      I hope you manage to find some help for yourself, it is out there, but you're gonna have to ask for it. You deserve to feel better about yourself and eating is not the answer.....although sadly that isn't enough to stop the habit.

      I wish you every luck...keep in touch.
      Warm Wishes
      Jo

    3. #3
      Senior Member
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      I totally understand I have been dieting and binging for yrs. I have been been diagnosed with bipolar and have put on a stone I feel terrible fat ugly and worth less. :-( . I really don't know what to do . The meds havent helped. Im still trying to find a cure xxx

    4. #4
      Senior Member dib4uk's Avatar
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      south london,england
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      Quote Originally Posted by roguewelshchick View Post
      Hey...Im new here

      I just joined because I needed to DO something. I am literally eating myself to death and Im so scared. Ive got OCD and depression and I think binge eating the way I am is a kind of self harm because I hate myself so much. Ive put on about 5 stone in a very short space of time and I dont seem to be able to stop eating. I'll start dieting or eating better on a Monday or something and the next day I'll be in the supermarket buying tons of junk. Ive been doing some research and I think I have an eating disorder and its gotten to the point now where if I dont do something its going to kill me but I dont know where to turn. My mum knows I eat a lot but when I mentioned it may be an eating disorder she dismissed it and said I should 'just stop eating so much'. I dont feel I can go to my doctor either because I think he'll just laugh at me the same way as when I tried to get help for my OCD. Its taking all of my willpower at the moment just to stop me going back to cutting myself. I just dont know what to do anymore
      I totally feel for you, and its more than just 'willpower', if you hate yourself totally then its about the relationship between yourself and the reason why you eat. Your not alone this is the place for you, and i totally understand how you feel about going to the doctors i had a bad experience with the doctors - and i feel like i dont want to talk to them either.

    5. #5
      Senior Member
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      Dec 2009
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      Sounds like a crappy doctor. I understand how you feel. I'm an emotional eater, boredom eater and habitual eater. It feels awful hating your weight but being unable to control your eating habits. Especially looking around and thinking everyone else seems to find it so easy! You should not feel bad about asking for help, as it is contributing to your depression. This is something you can definitely talk to your doctor (preferably a new one!) about.

    6. #6
      mjecson
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      Well it can be or can not be. Eating disorder is the big problem if you have this. Basically in that man eat constantly in a day without taking any break. So basically you should check it first. If it is there then you should do something for that otherwise it can harm you my friend.

    7. #7
      Senior Member Rosepoet's Avatar
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      Gower
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      Hi rogue Welsh i live Wales too i am over weight and eat to comfort i guess i need to lose four stone but i have not much to do but eat and panic and panic and eat posting here is a positive thing to do x
      The worst is not so long as we can say this is the worst ; ) ......... if my spelling an punctuation are bit bad its this dam mobile internet driving me mad!

    8. #8
      gregbo
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      I am shocked that your doctor is not taking you and your problems seriously and due to this I would really suggest to see another therapist or doctor. It could be that you have a serious eating disorder but nobody should laugh at you. Such a behavior makes me angry and I am really feeling with you. I think it is great that you know that something is wrong with you and that you try to do something. I hope you will find a nice therapist or doctor who will really help you. I will pray for you. Good luck.

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