Here is how I feel and I don't care if nobody replies: All I ever do is fuck up, I try my best to make everyone like me to be something special to make people care and all I ever want is to be good enough for somebody to love me and actually care about me. But more than that all I want is to somebodies perfect person to be the person they want to be with to be somebody that they go to when they need support and who I can go to for support. I hate myself, nothing I ever do is good enough, nobody has ever loved me and nobody ever will. I don't know what I am but I hate it, I hate it so much. And everyone else does too I know it. I can get nothing right and everyone will leave once they see it. I am not special, I am nothing. Why can't I be good enough for anybody?
I am unlovable I try to help people but in my head I feel genuine sympathy for people with problems but when i try to help it just comes across as fake and useless. I can help nobody, I can't make anyone feel good. All I want is to do be able to do that but I will never be able to. I punish myself by cutting myself, I punish the inside of me by constantly poisoning my body with alcohol and other things. I am not even fit to be in the body I am in. I can't do anything right!! And once people see through it all I'm gone all I do is bust my ass for people and I accomplish nothing simply because I am worthless. I can't do anything.